Access
Reading our posts, you might suspect that all is sorted in our world. You might not, but in case you do…. We still have our days.
The week after access with birth family can be a challenge.
You might find that something is triggered in your child in care after visits. It might be hard to deal with because it comes from deep inside. The child may not understand it, and as you weren’t there in those early days you may have little chance of unpicking it.
We’ve seen children regress in that post access week. Behaviours will surface that belong to a younger child. Things that they normally take in their stride become major issues.
How do we deal? We don’t play. We move calmly on. We continue with our routines and normal practices. When a child is older, we might give them a look, we might even make a comment. If the child can handle it start the conversation with them about how they are feeling after seeing birth family.
Our single minded trudge through that post-access week (for some years now), is always important to the child, make no mistake. In a life that is probably marked by early change*, they need to learn that there is no change now as a result of seeing birth family. That there is no change with their new foster family. That’s a big step forward.
Posted by EssentialMum
* The kind of change we are referring to is where a child is moved, frequently, from short term carer to short term carer.
The week after access with birth family can be a challenge.
You might find that something is triggered in your child in care after visits. It might be hard to deal with because it comes from deep inside. The child may not understand it, and as you weren’t there in those early days you may have little chance of unpicking it.
We’ve seen children regress in that post access week. Behaviours will surface that belong to a younger child. Things that they normally take in their stride become major issues.
How do we deal? We don’t play. We move calmly on. We continue with our routines and normal practices. When a child is older, we might give them a look, we might even make a comment. If the child can handle it start the conversation with them about how they are feeling after seeing birth family.
Our single minded trudge through that post-access week (for some years now), is always important to the child, make no mistake. In a life that is probably marked by early change*, they need to learn that there is no change now as a result of seeing birth family. That there is no change with their new foster family. That’s a big step forward.
Posted by EssentialMum
* The kind of change we are referring to is where a child is moved, frequently, from short term carer to short term carer.
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