Birth mum, foster mum, first mum, carer ...
So, let's get the introductions happening.
We've adopted pseudonyms in this blog (for more information on why this is important please see our Privacy tab). The names or descriptions of all the parties in both foster care and adoption is a hugely contentious subject – everyone has an opinion and very probably an agenda. It often raises real passion in all the parties.
At fostercarer.com.au you'll hear about:
Happy Camper
Our little bundle of joy is called Happy Camper (she's in the under 10 age group). Because she is. Most of the time. She is one of the world's most delightful little beings and it is our privilege to be part of her life and part of this journey. Happy Camper is in long term care so permanency planning is critical to her growth and stability.
Birth Mum
Happy Camper's mum is described as Birth Mum, but of course she has a name that Happy Camper calls her face to face. They have had discussions recently about a special name that Happy Camper can use that only they share. The important thing is that Happy Camper, as she grows older, knows her birth mum (and family) and feels she has a say in the relationships.
EssentialMum
Foster mother is called EssentialMum on this blog, and she is called 'Mum' by Happy Camper. Because that's what she is - right here, right now. She is now an essential part of Happy Camper’s life, and provides essential services.
EssentialMum was always called 'carer' by the private agency social workers, although DoCs seemed quite happy to call her Happy Camper's mum. Are we the only ones who find 'carer' a detached, objective, impersonal term? EssentialMum cares about lots of things, but she loves Happy Camper.
We've dealt with rules from the social workers about ‘what was best’ in relation to names for both Birth Mum and EssentialMum. The interesting thing was that the more strident the social workers became the more recalcitrant Happy Camper became.
To us the whole 'who is called what' debate is really simple when the child is put first, the child's individual circumstances are taken into consideration, and the child's ability to decide what is meaningful to them is given some airplay.
Posted by EssentialMum
We've adopted pseudonyms in this blog (for more information on why this is important please see our Privacy tab). The names or descriptions of all the parties in both foster care and adoption is a hugely contentious subject – everyone has an opinion and very probably an agenda. It often raises real passion in all the parties.
At fostercarer.com.au you'll hear about:
Happy Camper
Our little bundle of joy is called Happy Camper (she's in the under 10 age group). Because she is. Most of the time. She is one of the world's most delightful little beings and it is our privilege to be part of her life and part of this journey. Happy Camper is in long term care so permanency planning is critical to her growth and stability.
Birth Mum
Happy Camper's mum is described as Birth Mum, but of course she has a name that Happy Camper calls her face to face. They have had discussions recently about a special name that Happy Camper can use that only they share. The important thing is that Happy Camper, as she grows older, knows her birth mum (and family) and feels she has a say in the relationships.
EssentialMum
Foster mother is called EssentialMum on this blog, and she is called 'Mum' by Happy Camper. Because that's what she is - right here, right now. She is now an essential part of Happy Camper’s life, and provides essential services.
EssentialMum was always called 'carer' by the private agency social workers, although DoCs seemed quite happy to call her Happy Camper's mum. Are we the only ones who find 'carer' a detached, objective, impersonal term? EssentialMum cares about lots of things, but she loves Happy Camper.
We've dealt with rules from the social workers about ‘what was best’ in relation to names for both Birth Mum and EssentialMum. The interesting thing was that the more strident the social workers became the more recalcitrant Happy Camper became.
To us the whole 'who is called what' debate is really simple when the child is put first, the child's individual circumstances are taken into consideration, and the child's ability to decide what is meaningful to them is given some airplay.
Posted by EssentialMum
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