'Why would you want to become a foster carer?'
As I continue down my journey of learning and thinking (and wondering whether foster care is the right thing for me) the most common reaction I am confronted with is “why would you want to do that?”.
Somehow my life has become public property and everyone is free to give their opinion on my decision to become a foster carer.
There’re some who have said 'surely life’s not that bad'. Well, no, it’s good, really good, and that’s why I want to share it with a child who is not so fortunate.
Some have said, 'Don’t worry you’ll meet someone eventually'. Well I haven’t yet. But that’s not really the point.
Others have said 'Aha, that’s why you moved to the suburbs and bought a bigger house'. To be perfectly honest, there’s an element of truth in that – maybe I have created space for a family I don’t yet have. But then, life experience tells me there’s something to be said for stepping out in faith and waiting for circumstances to move in your direction.
The more complete response is that I believe I have something to give and I think that not only is this an opportunity for me to give something back and contribute in a very practical way, but fostering will also be an opportunity for me to grow and enrich my life. Plus I do love a challenge - and this will be the biggest challenge I have ever faced.
So what is it that causes this range of responses in people – people I know really well and people I don’t know at all?
On reflection, I think they find it threatening. Foster care is a new concept for a lot of people and is most likely something they’ve never considered. They can’t bring themselves to imagine why anyone would want to foster.
There’s an old adage – seek first to understand, then to be understood. Ask people what they find so intriguing or confronting about fostering. You both might just learn something.
Unless you know someone who fosters, it’s difficult to even start to appreciate what it’s all about. While I knew friends at school whose families did short term foster care, I didn’t really know anything about fostering until my cousin decided to foster. And lots of people I’ve met on my journey thus far found out about fostering through friends.
Foster care may not be well understood, but the need is there and foster care is going on all around us through the efforts of many generous families and people who care. And in the end that’s the most important ingredient – to care!
Posted by Dorothy
Somehow my life has become public property and everyone is free to give their opinion on my decision to become a foster carer.
There’re some who have said 'surely life’s not that bad'. Well, no, it’s good, really good, and that’s why I want to share it with a child who is not so fortunate.
Some have said, 'Don’t worry you’ll meet someone eventually'. Well I haven’t yet. But that’s not really the point.
Others have said 'Aha, that’s why you moved to the suburbs and bought a bigger house'. To be perfectly honest, there’s an element of truth in that – maybe I have created space for a family I don’t yet have. But then, life experience tells me there’s something to be said for stepping out in faith and waiting for circumstances to move in your direction.
The more complete response is that I believe I have something to give and I think that not only is this an opportunity for me to give something back and contribute in a very practical way, but fostering will also be an opportunity for me to grow and enrich my life. Plus I do love a challenge - and this will be the biggest challenge I have ever faced.
So what is it that causes this range of responses in people – people I know really well and people I don’t know at all?
On reflection, I think they find it threatening. Foster care is a new concept for a lot of people and is most likely something they’ve never considered. They can’t bring themselves to imagine why anyone would want to foster.
There’s an old adage – seek first to understand, then to be understood. Ask people what they find so intriguing or confronting about fostering. You both might just learn something.
Unless you know someone who fosters, it’s difficult to even start to appreciate what it’s all about. While I knew friends at school whose families did short term foster care, I didn’t really know anything about fostering until my cousin decided to foster. And lots of people I’ve met on my journey thus far found out about fostering through friends.
Foster care may not be well understood, but the need is there and foster care is going on all around us through the efforts of many generous families and people who care. And in the end that’s the most important ingredient – to care!
Posted by Dorothy
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