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<title>Fostercarer RSS</title><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/index.php</link><description>Fostercarer RSS</description><dc:language>en</dc:language><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><dc:rights>Copyright 2008 Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:rights><dc:date>2010-03-30T00:08:47+11:00</dc:date><admin:generatorAgent rdf:resource="http://www.realmacsoftware.com/" />
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<lastBuildDate>Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:37:03 +1000</lastBuildDate><item><title>The influence of birth family</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>identity</category><category>life story</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>placement</category><dc:date>2010-03-29T23:43:48+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7ba738f99426037536daee9fcd63e4d6-92.php#unique-entry-id-92</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7ba738f99426037536daee9fcd63e4d6-92.php#unique-entry-id-92</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Yet another story in the weekend press that examined one premise &ndash; whether children convicted of murder can ever live normal lives &ndash; and ended up being another tale of tragedy about a child in care. 


Kate Legge in The Weekend Australian Magazine (March 27-28 2010, p 17)  recounts &lsquo;The story of S&rsquo;, convicted at 13 of murder, sent to jail but with his anonymity intact.   She charts his journey, from care at the age of 6, to rehabilitation efforts in jail, which led to his release and a relationship, parenthood and a steady job. 

...The article states that he was &lsquo;surrendered to a patchwork of residential placements&rsquo; and that during a 2 year period &lsquo;he absconded from state care 26 times&rsquo;. 

...Legge&rsquo;s last paragraph concludes that despite the rehab efforts, the counselling, the positive prospects he had proven he could create and capitalise on, he &lsquo;couldn&rsquo;t in the end withstand the primordial tug of a family that had given him up at such a tender age&rsquo;.


...When no significant family relationship ever took its place when he was a child?   When no one taught him how to think, deal or act with his birth family? 


If he&rsquo;d never experienced a positive parental relationship or formed an enduring relationship with one significant adult, then of course his birth parents remain a force to be reckoned with.   As Bernie Geary, Victoria&rsquo;s Child Safety Commission notes, &lsquo;you can&rsquo;t transplant empathy into a kid who has grown up with a lack of it, as well as poor role models&rsquo;. 


...Our experience, supported by the advice of experienced workers, is that coming to grips with birth family and their individual circumstances is make or break stuff for most children in care. 


Children need an explanation of the circumstances of their being in care, and this must become deeper and more detailed as they mature.   Critically, this has to provide a context for them in which to deal with their birth parents.   Using S&rsquo;s case, he was still open to pressure and intimidation from members of his birth family.   No one taught him how to deal with those, and perhaps he had no one to turn to for advice?


There is overwhelming evidence that children need a significant positive relationship that is either parental in nature or very close to it. 

...We still read anecdotes online of carers feeling like they are under siege from workers and lawyers in the system.   Too many carers have to convince a sceptical &lsquo;system&rsquo; that they really are able to take on that relationship for the children, not because they have an agenda (desperate to have children, want to adopt, in it for the money). 


...It threw all its skill and best efforts at him, and he showed he could rise to the challenge. 

...He should have learned empathy and responsibility at the knee of someone who cared about him. ...  His story is made all the more tragic because for a time, it appeared he was going to defy all the statistics. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Lift your game carers</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>placement</category><category>identity</category><category>standards</category><dc:date>2010-01-26T00:21:44+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/lift%20your%20game%20carers.php#unique-entry-id-91</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/lift%20your%20game%20carers.php#unique-entry-id-91</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Just so you know we are quite prepared to have a go at anyone, we bring you our latest opinion.


It&rsquo;s time for carers to set a standard. 


When a consultation paper  has just been released in relation to National Standards for Out of Home Care, we wonder whether carers need to step up and set more of those standards themselves, by their actions. 


...We&rsquo;ve welcomed a number of foster children into our home over the years.   Foster children who have been in other foster care placements.   Not one has arrived with nice clothes, well cared for and loved toys, packaged in a decent bag. 


We are inspired by the work Backpacks for Aussie Kids are doing.   They aim to fill backpacks and nappy bags with essential and personal items for children going into foster and kinship care. 


So here&rsquo;s the rule we&rsquo;d like to see carers adopt:


Foster carers will not send children in care to another placement with their belongings in plastic bags. 


And no, those blue, red and white striped bags, from Kmart or Target, don&rsquo;t cut it either. 


How do you begin to show a child they are worth anything, when dropping their belongings into a plastic bag is acceptable?   You might try and convince us that the child, if they are young enough, is oblivious to it.


...Care and respect for the child. ...  Care about the small number of toys, items and clothing that, in some circumstances, make up this child&rsquo;s life.   Respect that, no matter how young they are, belongings are important. 


Carers, go buy a decent bag, or demand one from your worker. 

...Just in case you wondered, the move this child will make from you to their next placement is always significant.   They will listen and watch and take their cues in a way we adults have long lost.   Treat them with respect, and treat their belongings with respect too. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Growing up in the care of strangers</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>identity</category><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>life story</category><dc:date>2010-01-12T22:25:14+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/d58f36654866946f08e0acb173b1dfcd-90.php#unique-entry-id-90</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/d58f36654866946f08e0acb173b1dfcd-90.php#unique-entry-id-90</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[But its authors are profiled over at www.fostercareinamerica.com, so that tells us it&rsquo;s worth looking into.   It&rsquo;s available on Amazon but takes some time to be delivered to us here in Oz (and at some expense).   So we hope the authors will forgive us for taking little more than the title, and a bit of information from the blurbs, and writing something about it. 


You can read about the authors, Dr John Seita and Waln Brown, at www.fostercareinamerica.com, and they have a website for the book (which tells you a little more).


...It is marvelous to see those who experienced the system capable of, and interested in, working in it. 

...And yet our experience of the foster care system is, quite frankly, that the &lsquo;consumers&rsquo; of it &ndash; children and birth families &ndash; and partners in it &ndash; carers &ndash; often don&rsquo;t get much of a say.   Their ability to do so seems to be very much at the mercy of individual workers, and not enshrined in the system. 


If we take the title of this book at face value, you shouldn&rsquo;t have to grow up in the care of strangers, should you?


...	&bull;	Did you ever wonder whether the adult giving you assistance or instruction really, really cared deep down for you, or were they just doing a job?


...	&bull;	Did you ever think that, no matter what, there was one place and one person who would welcome you, any time?


When we know so much about what children need to make them strong, and healthy, and happy and capable, and loved, tell us why, in this day and age, we have books describing growing up in the care of strangers?   It&rsquo;s not as if we don&rsquo;t know what the issues are. 

...The word &lsquo;strangers&rsquo; hit us hard because we have been strangers to more than one small, bemused child who landed on our doorstep.   The dazed look on their faces was quite hard to face, and we remember our pleasure when we&rsquo;ve watched it gradually give way to some expression as they become familiar with us. 


It&rsquo;s a good day for your child in care when the only strangers in their life are those outside your family and their birth family, and their circle of friends and acquaintances. 

...If a child needs permanency then it is up to the system to make that decision and make that decision for them, in a timely fashion. 

...We&rsquo;ve always tried to make sure workers understand that a child in care is a child who has a birth family they don&rsquo;t live with, rather than a child in substitute care who needs to conform to some pre-defined relationship with their birth family.   We have made sure that any child&rsquo;s individual interests didn&rsquo;t get swamped beneath the standard way the system does things. 

...There is a vast difference between short and long term care &ndash; both in what a child needs from it and what a carer needs to be able to commit to and provide. 

...So our congratulations to every one of the contributors to Growing up in the Care of Strangers. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Can a foster parent &#x2018;over-advocate&#x2019; for their foster child?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>behaviour</category><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>agency</category><category>procedure</category><dc:date>2009-12-30T23:57:36+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ec7828c29129d339636690185d8e7e07-89.php#unique-entry-id-89</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ec7828c29129d339636690185d8e7e07-89.php#unique-entry-id-89</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[As a foster parent, you attend case conferences, and talk with social workers on behalf of your foster child.   Depending on their age or their circumstances they might lack the knowledge, skill, ability, maturity or capability to speak on their own behalf. 


...We&rsquo;d like to ask the social workers whether they are saying that we aren&rsquo;t educated or qualified or experienced enough to make a contribution to the discussion about the child&rsquo;s needs? 


...We judge their contribution according to their talents, but we don&rsquo;t &ndash; and can&rsquo;t &ndash; prevent them from having their say. 


We&rsquo;ve had workers who spent a great deal of energy telling us, with diminishing degrees of politeness, to shut up and get back in our box.   We had a role to play, designated by the system, and they were thoroughly annoyed that we didn&rsquo;t stick to the script. 


But interestingly, it&rsquo;s our willingness to step outside &lsquo;our role&rsquo; that sees us maintaining contact with children formerly in our care, long after they have become adults.   It&rsquo;s why we stepped up to help them &lsquo;age out&rsquo; of foster care (emotionally, financially and with life skills), when the system, previous carers, and all those passionate social workers had left the scene.


If we applied some innovative thinking to the issue, then maybe the passion with which carers might speak on behalf of a child is a good thing? 

...In all fairness we believe social workers have a large range of stakeholders to deal with &ndash; from authorities, to birth families, to agencies, to carers and beyond. ...  The ability to manage people is not taught at university (and if anyone tells you it was, or is, they are lying).   It is learned on the job, over many years, and requires both an interest in people and a willingness to be self-aware. 

...(If you are a carer about to provide care, you might like to print these bullet points out, amend  or add to them to reflect what you think you bring to the placements, and give them to your worker.) 


	&bull;	We will challenge you on decisions, and we will give you our well thought out opinion on what we see the child going through. 


	&bull;	We will raise issues and suggest decisions that need to be made for you to give us feedback on. 


...	&bull;	We will expect you to be skilled enough to see the love/compassion we have for this child and understand the depth of our care for the child. 


	&bull;	As time goes by we will expect you to be skilled enough to see the love this child has for us, or the reliance they place on us, and take that into account. 


	&bull;	We don&rsquo;t accept there is any &lsquo;mark&rsquo; to overstep so we will have no tolerance for you complaining, overtly or covertly, about us doing that. 


	&bull;	We will expect that you, as the professional you hold yourself out to be, will be able to assess us and judge us and manage us and collaborate with us.


And if doing any of that is a challenge, we suggest a great deal more training is needed. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Twitter stream to 30-12-09</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>links</category><category>identity</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>roles</category><category>general</category><dc:date>2009-12-30T23:25:03+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/b78a6ab622f714f91ec0298014abaf3a-88.php#unique-entry-id-88</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/b78a6ab622f714f91ec0298014abaf3a-88.php#unique-entry-id-88</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Sammut: Community needs to accept that children in danger need to be removed, and the earlier the better for the child. http://ow.ly/R368 2 minutes ago from HootSuite 


...Sammut comes out and says that family preservation - the current approach in child protection - is flawed: http://ow.ly/R2ZA 11 minutes ago from HootSuite  


Two dreadful cases this year of parental neglect that were fatal for the children: Jeremy Sammut in the SMH http://ow.ly/R2YL 12 minutes ago from HootSuite 


...Hate to break it to you folks, but more money ain't gonna fix the social welfare system: http://ow.ly/PPzT 10:39 PM Dec 26th from HootSuite 


...Our view on what that looks like and the benefits for a child in care http://ow.ly/HsQt 11:42 PM Dec 1st from HootSuite 


...@emqff Nationaladoptionweek is happening in the UK as well. http://ow.ly/CCM0 4:33 PM Nov 16th from HootSuite in reply to emqff 


...Really like this report from @childrensrights on NYC foster care, and the effort to bring kids to permanent families. http://ow.ly/BPB2 7:05 PM Nov 13th from HootSuite 


...rt @childrensrights New report on Oklahoma child welfare: treatment of kids in foster care there is "immoral." http://is.gd/4SSRwdrensrights 10:15 AM Nov 12th from HootSuite 


If you live in an apartment and have small children, check the safety of the windows and upgrade them if necessary http://ow.ly/Bc8t 2:08 PM Nov 11th from HootSuite 


'Huge backlog' of cases in NT; - independent enquiry announced to report into the 'notification system' for child abuse http://ow.ly/BbPD 1:45 PM Nov 11th from HootSuite 


When agencies can't work out what information can be shared people really do suffer JGOS (mental health service) http://ow.ly/BbNm 1:43 PM Nov 11th from HootSuite 


rt @gauntlent rt @drewfromtv Follow me and LIVESTRONG gets 1 M Cancer DOLLARS help me reach1 m followers by 12/31/09 help save a life 11:52 AM Nov 10th from HootSuite 


...Pew Report Only 6% of the adult population has no one who they consider to be &ldquo;especially significant&rdquo; in their life. http://ow.ly/ASFG 11:41 AM Nov 10th from HootSuite 


Pew report on social isolation 'Only 6% of the adult population has no one with whom they can discuss important matters' http://ow.ly/ASF3 11:40 AM Nov 10th from HootSuite 


...Medical world first saves baby's life - wonderful how this world of ours can collaborate http://ow.ly/zlgy 12:31 PM Nov 5th from HootSuite 


...Useful publications for children in care from WA Govt - includes a charter of rights for children in care on page 20 http://ow.ly/yNfc 4:31 PM Nov 3rd from HootSuite 


...Six dimensions of child well-being: material, housing, education, health, risk behaviours and quality of school life.http://ow.ly/xsIb 1:33 PM Oct 30th from HootSuite 


...We like Chris Gardiner's article on the The Punch (CEO of PCYC) http://ow.ly/x00i so we wrote about it http://tinyurl.com/yhjshpp 12:57 AM Oct 29th from web 


Kids need an adult committed to them, and not a committee of social workers and public servants: Chris Gardiner PCYC http://ow.ly/x00i 2:44 PM Oct 28th from HootSuite 


intervention...must be built on an intense engagement around a single, consistent and strong adult relationship http://ow.ly/x004 2:43 PM Oct 28th from HootSuite 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>National Adoption Awareness Week</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-11-27T00:02:31+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/4e0fb56d7a22d28ab1ca52133e4840b0-87.php#unique-entry-id-87</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/4e0fb56d7a22d28ab1ca52133e4840b0-87.php#unique-entry-id-87</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We would have loved to highlight the event on this site, but were living the equation (simplified, with sincere apologies to all the mathematicians out there):


...&lsquo;There is a perception that Australia has been reluctant to advocate adoption as an option for crisis pregnancies, children stuck in foster care drift, or as a way of keeping siblings together.&rsquo;


...If it describes children who move from placement to placement to placement, or perhaps children who languish in a placement pending a decision, then what is the goal for them? 

...If you read the Queensland Government&rsquo;s Charter of rights of a child in care, then the first principle will tell you that the Child Protection Act 1999 establishes that children in care have the right &lsquo;to be provided with a safe and stable living environment&rsquo; that &lsquo;best meets the child&rsquo;s needs&rsquo;.   (We know there is a NSW equivalent, but heaven help us, we searched for it on the DoCS site and ran out of patience. 

...By that we mean that it is decided in reference to the particular child and their particular circumstances. 

...When a family breaks down, or a birth parent can&rsquo;t cope, all the basic standards of care for a child need to be replaced with a new set.   The child&rsquo;s stability is well and truly interrupted, while the system tries to work out whether the family can be supported and therefore function, or whether it has broken down irretrievably. 


So when serious family issues occur, can the system cater for the needs of the family AND the needs of the individual child simultaneously? 

...But we are yet to meet an individual or a system (however you define it) that is able to balance the competing needs of two parties, completely impartially, free from agendas.


...But even accepting that, perhaps the issue is how long it takes to get a decision from that impartial third party?   As we&rsquo;ve written before, children don&rsquo;t go into limbo while the adults work it all out. 

...We know a number of smart, thoughtful individuals who have been children in care, and we participate in many online forums where those who contribute to the system and those who experienced it come together. 

...So here&rsquo;s what &lsquo;stability&rsquo; means in day to day terms for a child in care:


...	◦	If you see birth family members, there is no mystery for the child about their whole family. 


	◦	The child can deal with all the continuing uncertainty of birth family from the safety net of a loving family. 


	◦	The new foster family actively works with the child to help them understand and accept why the child lives with the family. 

...And it was, and remains, all about giving the child the best we can give. 

...&lsquo;We understand you need someone to love you, unconditionally, for a long time, so you see and understand what a long time looks and feels like, and what long-term unconditional love looks and feels like.   We know you need to see, experience, feel and understand what it is to have someone who wants, and works for, the very best for you&rsquo;.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Children need a strong adult relationship</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>identity</category><category>policy</category><category>child first</category><dc:date>2009-10-29T00:13:34+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/Children_need_a_strong_adult_relationship.php#unique-entry-id-86</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/Children_need_a_strong_adult_relationship.php#unique-entry-id-86</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[&lsquo;We should also, however, recognise that some adults fail to raise their children properly, fail to care for them, and fail to socialise them.&rsquo;


...He posted a great article on The Punch today about kids at risk. 

...He argues that we should be investing in our youth in trouble, because while &lsquo;re-socialising dysfunctional, delinquent kids is relationship and resource intensive, &hellip; it is cheaper and more effective in the long run than detention centres and prisons. 

...(And just to explain why this is an issue, he notes that NSW has several times the number of kids in detention that Victoria has, and that over half the kids locked up are aboriginal.)


It&rsquo;s the same message we hear from the &lsquo;children at risk&rsquo; support system. 

...After that early statement about the family, he talks about the child, and what they need.   Let&rsquo;s be blunt - he doesn&rsquo;t talk about propping up a failing family structure. ...  He says we need to give these children &lsquo;the chance for social development that they have been thus far denied&rsquo;. 


There is no reason why support for the family shouldn&rsquo;t continue.   But it should be separate to support allocated to the child. 


And here&rsquo;s the paragraph that could well be written for children in care. 


&lsquo;For intervention to work, though, it must be built on an intense engagement around a single, consistent and strong adult relationship and an alternative peer setting.   Kids need an adult committed to them, and not a committee of social workers and public servants (as interagency case management often becomes).&rsquo;


This issue of attachment came up in an American Academy of Paediatrics article on Developmental Issues for Young Children in Foster Care , and we wrote about it previously on our blog. 

...&lsquo;Having at least 1&nbsp;adult who is devoted to and loves a child unconditionally, who is prepared to accept and value that child for a long time, is key to helping a child overcome the stress and trauma of abuse and neglect.&rsquo;


So we think those two paragraphs might contain some guidance for assessing whether a child at risk is getting what they need:


...	&bull;	An adult committed to them (our comment &ndash; in action, not words)


...	&bull;	An adult who is prepared to accept and value that child for a long time


Those of us lucky enough to grow up in a nurturing family will read those points and understand what they mean. 

...So, how long should we take to decide a child is NOT getting that, and what are we prepared to do about it?
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Twitter stream to 27-10-09</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>links</category><category>identity</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>roles</category><category>general</category><dc:date>2009-10-28T21:43:34+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/30afd0d1e538d4fc14de54eca89e3fa3-85.php#unique-entry-id-85</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/30afd0d1e538d4fc14de54eca89e3fa3-85.php#unique-entry-id-85</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[They are often news reports or research studies that may be relevant to children in care, or to children generally.


...While we try hard to be constructive on www.fostercarer.com.au, you&rsquo;ll see we have a bit more fun with our tweets.


...Child protection workers raised 'serious concerns' about an adult's capability to care for a child but no one acted. 

...What is the test parents must pass if they have lost custody of a child, before that child or another is returned to them? 

...Good to see technology used to protect children's rights and wellbeing 'kidnapped child found through global money trail' http://ow.ly/vQ2G 3:13 PM Oct 22nd from HootSuite 


...Was about to huff about the guidelines but if those TV stats are true then we need more education out there! 

...'four-month-old babies watch 44 minutes of TV daily ...under-fours spend at least three hours a day in front of TV' (ACMA) http://ow.ly/vNwA 9:45 AM Oct 22nd from HootSuite 


New parenting guidelines for parents - Don't force your kids to clear their plates at meal times. http://ow.ly/vNvp 9:42 AM Oct 22nd from HootSuite 


...The computers are not new and fancy but ... http://bit.ly/r8zDL 1:57 PM Oct 21st from HootSuite 


...Submission: Family Court to consider parenting roles played by each parent pre-separation before deciding on roles after http://ow.ly/vn0l 3:38 PM Oct 20th from HootSuite 


'Children under the current system DO NOT HAVE A VOICE' Submission on Shared parenting rollback - http://ow.ly/vmSp 3:31 PM Oct 20th from HootSuite 


What a shame - child abduction hoax: rt @mashable WARNING: &ldquo;98B351&Prime; AMBER Alert Hoax Still Spreading on Twitter, Facebook - http://bit.ly/3v 10:35 PM Oct 15th from HootSuite 


The results of a poor decision in child welfare can scar a child for life. http://ow.ly/uv8J Maybe we need an insurance scheme? 

...While we don't agree with punishment for caseworkers who make errors, we do agree accountability needs to be there http://ow.ly/uv7S 3:41 PM Oct 15th from HootSuite 


...To quote @jcflamini (who knows of what she speaks), 'sometimes the state should not give repeat chances to failing parents' 4:26 PM Oct 14th from HootSuite 


...There are many serious long term impacts of returning children to bio families again, and again, and again. 

...Here's an example of where it did http://ow.ly/uijr 4:21 PM Oct 14th from HootSuite 


'A BABY girl severely injured since being put in the care of relatives after DOCS took her from a foster family'. http://ow.ly/uiiI 4:19 PM Oct 14th from HootSuite 


Pre-emptive strike: we teach the Camper that advertising is a crock, and you can't believe what you see in mags #bodyimage http://ow.ly/uh6E 12:59 PM Oct 14th from HootSuite 


...The point is not only quantity, but QUALITY. http://ow.ly/u4Sn 3:13 PM Oct 13th from HootSuite 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>How foster children respond to stress</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>life skills</category><category>health</category><dc:date>2009-10-10T00:00:11+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/41db860f9a5c1d248c5ddee557fa00b0-84.php#unique-entry-id-84</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/41db860f9a5c1d248c5ddee557fa00b0-84.php#unique-entry-id-84</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[By the time I ended up at my first Foster Care home, so much had been taken from me.  &nbsp; I no longer had a sense of self, family, belonging, comfort, familiarity, unconditional love, trust, confidence (let&rsquo;s face it, this comes from stability), and hope!


 If I use my adult voice I can explain that I was angry, hurt, devastated, abandoned, emotionally disconnected, physically beaten, verbally abused, ridiculed by society and my peers, and completely petrified!

...These words are from Jenny, at www.fostercareinamerica.com.    She and her brother Mat write about their memories of childhood.   If ever you have stared at your foster child and wondered what is going on, you will find insight here.   It&rsquo;s a unique perspective and we applaud Jenny for having the courage and the energy to show it. 


...They represent the stripping away, for a child, of all that they have known.   And at 4 years of age, a child has little left. 


What is compelling about Jenny&rsquo;s post is how she talks about the rage that came, unbidden and usually unexpectedly.


These episodes came without warning, calm one minute, and then the rage would surface.


...We&rsquo;ve been highlighting an article from the American Academy of Pediatrics &ndash; Developmental Issues for Young children in Foster Care.    It has a section on the response in children to psychological stress.


Physical and mental abuse during the first few years of life tends to fix the brain in an acute stress mode that makes the child respond in a hyper-vigilant, fearful manner.


When a child is under acute stress, the typical &lsquo;fight&rsquo; response to stress may change from crying &ndash; because that was unsuccessful &ndash; to temper tantrums, aggressive behaviour, or inattention and withdrawal. 


The child, rather than physically running away - the &lsquo;flight&rsquo; response, may psychologically disengage.   It&rsquo;s called the freeze response &ndash; a child may react to alarm or stress by ceasing any activity. 

...Because it is telling us that these experiences can have a profound impact on a child. 


...She celebrates the overcoming of adversity for the most vulnerable in society. ...  As carers, faced with a small bundle or anger/anxiety/silence, that&rsquo;s good to remember.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Agencies&#x27; neglect fatal for Ebony</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>policy</category><category>procedure</category><category>government</category><dc:date>2009-10-07T23:57:34+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ef30ed67887841e99413362796f60321-83.php#unique-entry-id-83</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ef30ed67887841e99413362796f60321-83.php#unique-entry-id-83</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[There are a few circumstances in life where one mistake can be fatal. 

...Small children don&rsquo;t choose to put themselves at risk.


...And our child protection system is set up to monitor, and manage, when parents fail. ...  But if the parents fail, and then the system fails, a child can die. 


So what an absolute tragedy to read about a child in New South Wales who starved to death while in the care of her parents. ...  If &lsquo;the system&rsquo; is the last line of defence, then it&rsquo;s a huge responsibility for the people who work in &lsquo;the system&rsquo;. 


...In many cases it is not just one event that makes it obvious you have a #parentfail.


But when the risk of not acting is a child&rsquo;s life, you may ask why on earth someone didn&rsquo;t do something?


	&bull;	Is it because the online forums are full of condemnation at the apparent ease with which we remove children from biological parents who don&rsquo;t care properly for them? 


	&bull;	Is it because we hear from children who have been in care that they have never managed to deal with, or been given the support to cope with, being removed from their birth parents? 


	&bull;	Is it because psychologists have studies that tell us that even a poor biological family is better than removing a child from them? 


	&bull;	Is it because the ideology favours family support and keeping a family together, no matter what? 


	&bull;	Is it because none of the &lsquo;systems&rsquo; or agencies that look out for a child in NSW are linked? 


...	&bull;	Is it because worker turnover meant there was never one worker with the family history?


	&bull;	Is it because the processes in the main organisation charged with the responsibilities for children at risk simply don&rsquo;t work? 


One of the newspaper reports stated that DoCs had &lsquo;failed to convince the Children's Court to remove Ebony and her two older sisters from their parents, despite the fact Ebony's younger sister had been removed&rsquo;.   So the &lsquo;system&rsquo; had a &lsquo;fail&rsquo; at what appears in hindsight to have been the right course of action? 

...The Ombudsman concluded that Ebony&rsquo;s case "illustrates very clearly what can go wrong for children when agencies fail to work effectively, fail to work together and fail to take shared responsibility for the care and protection of children".


...	◦	Agencies failing to work together means no links (technical or personal), no reason to share and no habit of collaboration. ...  Having worked with social workers who didn&rsquo;t even like collaborating with us, we suspect there&rsquo;s a cultural issue to address in some sectors as well.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Details on children kept from foster carers</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>life story</category><category>training</category><category>identity</category><category>procedure</category><dc:date>2009-10-01T23:01:33+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/dfaa223b06b80a3c85eb2d01c396841d-82.php#unique-entry-id-82</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/dfaa223b06b80a3c85eb2d01c396841d-82.php#unique-entry-id-82</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[&lsquo;Thousands of foster carers are welcoming children into their homes without being given the full facts about the children&rsquo;s past, including whether they were victims of abuse&rsquo;.


We put the link to this Times Online (UK) article on Twitter, and quickly got a response:


...A couple of court rulings had opened the door for local authorities to be sued if they didn&rsquo;t meet their duty of care to foster families.


The statistics were blunt &ndash; more than 51% of carers in the UK say that they have been given inadequate information about a child in their care, which has put themselves, their own children and even the foster child at risk.   A full 30% weren&rsquo;t told about the child&rsquo;s medical requirements, 50% were not informed about a history of abuse, and 75% said that they were not made aware of the child&rsquo;s general behaviour.


...In the early years it may be critical to understanding the child&rsquo;s behaviour and health, and as they get older it may be essential to help them understand their past and their birth family. 


When the turnover of workers is high (average we&rsquo;ve heard for DoCS in Oz is about a year, and even in private agencies it runs at about 2 years), and if a child has moved placements a great deal, who on earth has any history for this child? 


...(Btw, this is why life story work, however you may do that, is critical for these kids. 

...So what&rsquo;s the problem with getting the right information to carers? 

...	&bull;	Contain information that is not relevant to the child in your care (for example information about birth family)


	&bull;	Contain highly sensitive, prejudicial or private information about someone other than your foster child,


...Why can&rsquo;t carers see the child&rsquo;s files, you might ask? ...  There are privacy issues relating to information in there about people other than the child.  ...  You need a good relationship with them for the child&rsquo;s sake, and reading what might be a troubled history, that you will make a judgement on, might actually stop you doing that. 


What needs to happen is for the files to be reproduced for the carers, with all the facts relevant to the child, but with none of the other stuff.


When the general consensus seems to be that many of our workers are overloaded, it&rsquo;s not surprising that paperwork isn&rsquo;t their first priority. 


The people to do, what would essentially be a &lsquo;sifting&rsquo; job, need to understand privacy, and they need to understand which facts are relevant to the child&rsquo;s history.   So why not find some lawyers, or social workers, who want to work part time? 

...And as the survey shows, there is real risk to the foster family and the child if information is not forthcoming.   &lsquo;Flying blind&rsquo; can be fun sometimes, but not for a foster carer struggling to understand, manage and care for a small person.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>You can&#x27;t force a relationship</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>behaviour</category><category>placement</category><category>identity</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-09-22T21:59:54+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ce91265e2d93218522af478d58c7309f-81.php#unique-entry-id-81</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ce91265e2d93218522af478d58c7309f-81.php#unique-entry-id-81</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[&lsquo;THE Family Court has warned separated parents that they are required to hand over children for access visits, whether the children want to go or not.


While parents don't have to "physically drag" the children to the other parent, they do have to "positively encourage" them to go, and punish those who refuse.&rsquo;


...The Family Court is saying that a parent should punish a child who refuses to abide by any orders made about their access with other parents.   If ever there was an example of parental rights walking rough-shod over the well-being of a child, and enshrined in law, this is it. 


...Because at some stage your foster child might not want to go to a contact visit to meet with members of their birth family. 


Their reaction, and how you and the support network handles it, will depend on the child, the birth family, and the stage of understanding and development the child is at.   It will also depend on how skilled your social worker is, and what the social worker&rsquo;s agenda is.


The article bothers us, not least because a Family Court Judge appears to be slavishly adopting what we have come to think of as dodgy law. 

...It bothers us because, as Pragnell says, &lsquo;how can it be in (a child&rsquo;s) best interests to force them into a relationship?&rsquo;


We&rsquo;ve seen social workers &lsquo;play God&rsquo; (and we don&rsquo;t use that expression lightly) with foster children&rsquo;s relationships for many, many years.   We&rsquo;ve seen foster families denied any follow up relationship with a foster child after a placement has ended, despite the fact that relationship was the longest and most stable of the child&rsquo;s life.   And we&rsquo;ve experienced contact visits with birth family being managed aggressively by the social workers. 

...This might be despite the fact that the child is now drawing great comfort and stability from the newly forming foster relationships, and needs them even more when confronted by birth family. 


...So when a child is dealing with who their birth family members are and the part they play in their life, another one can appear. 

...	&bull;	Social workers take an active role in access and facilitate (or force - depends on your viewpoint) intervention between the child and members of their birth family. 

...Here&rsquo;s what can happen if a foster child is forced into a relationship:


...	&bull;	Forcing a relationship between foster child and birth family risks the child losing faith in their foster parent. 

...Foster parents owe a duty of care to their child to treat birth family members, and the birth family relationship, with respect. 

...What is in the child&rsquo;s best interest at that point in time, considering their age, circumstances, development and security, should prevail. 


What should you, as a foster parent, do in these circumstances if you see a relationship being forced? ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>65 Australian children per 1000 are living in out of home care</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>general</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>placement</category><category>policy</category><dc:date>2009-09-20T21:28:54+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/5e593ffa3fcc9e5e5e690cd3b8e3e155-80.php#unique-entry-id-80</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/5e593ffa3fcc9e5e5e690cd3b8e3e155-80.php#unique-entry-id-80</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We don&rsquo;t often see statistics in Australia about children in care.   This came across our RSS feed the other week from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. 


As at 30 June 2008 in Australia, there were 31,116 children living in out of home care (OOHC).   That&rsquo;s 6.5% per 1,000, or 65 children per 1000.


One third were aged 10-14 years, one third aged 5-9 years, 25% were aged under 5 years, and 14% were aged 15-17 years.


This rate and number has more than doubled since 1997 (from 11,600 to the current number).   The increase is a result of more children commencing OOHC than are being discharged from it each year.   The increased duration of OOHC placements also reflects the increasing complexity in family situations.


Common family situations are low family income, parental substance abuse, mental health issues and family violence.


The majority of children - 95% - aged 0-14 were in home based care.   That is split into foster care (48%) and kinship care (45%).   A smaller proportion were in residential care (5%), and they were generally older children over the age of 10 years.


During 2007-08, there were 317,526 reports of suspected child-abuse and neglect made to authorities.   These figures appear to indicate that the reporting of abuse has increased.   Of that number, 194,937 concerned the same children.   There were a total of 148,824 finalised investigations recorded in Australia (an increase of 8% on the 2005-06 year).


Pretty sobering figures, don&rsquo;t you think?
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Children&#x27;s sense of time</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>training</category><category>identity</category><category>behaviour</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-09-09T22:23:12+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7194e74abb85b427295a7b33f58772f7-79.php#unique-entry-id-79</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7194e74abb85b427295a7b33f58772f7-79.php#unique-entry-id-79</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[This post deals with children&rsquo;s sense of time, and how that specifically impacts children in foster care. 


Placing children in care might deal with their immediate need for physical care, nourishment, comfort, affection and stimulation. ...  Children need to learn how to bond and trust, and that happens with a stable consistent carer over a period of time. 

...And if a child is suffering the consequences of stress and inadequate parenting, then moving them from home to home only makes it worse.   This reminds us of the Eggshells comment from Jen who writes about a foster child&rsquo;s perspective at www.fostercareinamerica.com. 


...But most of us build on the self-reliance that we have learned, probably from stable and supportive parents and family circumstances, over the years.   And we usually have the skill to anticipate and plan for a time when things settle down.   We may well have experienced more settled times before, so we know what they look like. 


...They can&rsquo;t pull out an experience and say &lsquo;well, the last time that happened to me I handled it this way.&rsquo; 

...And they are right in the process of discovering who they are.   They don&rsquo;t yet have a strong sense of &lsquo;self&rsquo;, not like adults do. ...  A child in a stable family doesn&rsquo;t have to be anxious about the fundamentals like nurturing, protection, trust and security.   So they are free to get on with working out who they are.   For a child in care energy is expended on the fundamentals. 

...We have enough trouble getting the Camper to plan for the next hour, let alone the next month, year and so on (although the stand-out exception there is her birthday party. 

...So because young children don&rsquo;t understand the concept of temporary versus permanent, periods of time are largely incomprehensible to them.   The younger they are, the longer the disruption &ndash; the more impact it will have.


This section of the report concludes &lsquo;pediatricians should advocate that evaluation, planning, placement and treatment decision be made as quickly as possible, especially for very young children&rsquo;.   They are saying that the clock is ticking - every minute has an impact on the child. 


When we hear workers say that their primary focus is on the &lsquo;family&rsquo;, we worry like hell for the individual children. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Attachment issues for children in foster care</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>health</category><category>identity</category><category>life skills</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>foster care</category><dc:date>2009-09-01T21:13:01+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/f0fabcf0a1e9fb657638ae9bc3250687-78.php#unique-entry-id-78</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/f0fabcf0a1e9fb657638ae9bc3250687-78.php#unique-entry-id-78</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Again, we will put the report in our own words in the hope that we can make it a little more accessible. 


Not surprisingly, the child needs a relationship with an adult who exhibits the behaviour of a loving, caring parent &ndash; nurturing, protection, trust and security.   Attachment refers to the relationship between a child and another &ndash; that is, two people, and forms the basis for long term relationships.


...Children in a poor family circumstance don&rsquo;t go into limbo while parents and support agencies work things out (we&rsquo;ve said that before and we&rsquo;ll say it again.)   So attachment at such a time can be both insecure and maladaptive &ndash; meaning faulty or inadequate.   The child may be actively learning that attachment is faulty, or insecure, or inadequate, not healthy, or enduring, or wonderful.


And in case anyone was wondering: &lsquo;attachment to a primary caregiver (&hellip;who provides nurturing, protection, trust and security&hellip;) is essential to the development of emotional security and social conscience&rsquo; (page 1146). 


...The article states that the &lsquo;optimal&rsquo; child development occurs when a range of the child&rsquo;s needs are consistently met over an extended period.   We&rsquo;ve paraphrased this concept before and made it personal to us: the Camper deserves to know that there is another day tomorrow that will be, in relation to all the essential elements like nurturing, protection, trust and security, exactly the same as the one she has just had. 


...In many cases it is highly likely that a birth parent never had this opportunity with their parent, and was unable to provide it for their child. 

...It is the process of parenting &ndash; looking after the child&rsquo;s emotional and psychological needs, as well as their biological needs &ndash; that leads a child to perceive a particular adult as his or her parent. ...  And the strength of that relationship plays a big part in helping a child overcome early stress or trauma. 


So the real risk for children in and out of foster care is that they might fail to form healthy attachments to anyone.   They don&rsquo;t have an adult who is devoted to them, and who accepts and values them for the long term.   And in our experience, many of the interactions with both workers and birth family, unless handled with great skill and care, can undermine the forming of that attachment and cause the child more stress and insecurity.


Separation during the first year of life, especially in the first 6 months, may not have a negative effect on social or emotional development. 


Separations between 6 months and 3 years of age, if they come about as a result of family breakdown and disruption, are more likely to have ongoing emotional consequences for the child.   This is partly due to their age and how they feel around strangers, but also because they do not have the language skills at this age to fully express themselves and make sense of it. 


Children older than 3 years when placed with a new family are likely to have the language skills to help them deal with the change. 

...The section concludes with the statement &lsquo;the emotional consequences of multiple placements or disruptions are likely to be harmful at any age.&rsquo; 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>It takes courage to be a foster carer</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>training</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-08-25T23:43:32+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/8e6d0892d1aec2e5bce646c5204a0b57-77.php#unique-entry-id-77</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/8e6d0892d1aec2e5bce646c5204a0b57-77.php#unique-entry-id-77</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Every so often in life it is worth getting back to basics, isn&rsquo;t it?   We talk about many things on this blog to try and cover as much useful information as we can.   But we&rsquo;ve recently been talking to some new carers, and we know other carers who are about to take a placement, so we thought it might be timely to go back to the beginning for a moment. 


...You are putting yourself and your family on the front line, giving not just money, or even just time, but yourselves and your relationships and your home. 


We hope that your training, and/or your life experience, will have prepared you for what you are experiencing.   But don&rsquo;t be surprised if, as a first time carer, you are stressed, because that&rsquo;s the most natural reaction in the world.


No matter how well prepared or supported you might be, the first weeks of a placement can be difficult. ...  But the first weeks, before you start to understand the child, can be positively exhausting. 


...Yes, we know that is the platitude to end all platitudes, but it is true. 

...Because the child you have just welcomed into your home, with hope and love, may well be dazed, and confused, and untrusting.   (We could add many more adjectives here like angry, or scared, or blas&eacute;, but it might go on a bit&hellip;.). ...  And depending on his life experience, many of the things that you might take for granted in a child of his age may be missing completely. ...  Like how to go shopping with you, how to stay by your side, how to happily come home from the park, how to share with other children. ...  He may not have had anyone to teach it to him, you see.


(You can write that paragraph again with age appropriate characteristics, right up until teenage years, by the way. 

...So it&rsquo;s really important for you to remember that now is not the time to be reticent, or noble (&lsquo;I can cope. ...  Every child in care is unique, and has very different experiences that will have impacted him in different ways.   Don&rsquo;t be afraid of stepping on toes or worry that you will be seen as demanding. 

...And we hope that at some stage soon, there will come one experience with this child that will warm your heart, make you feel that it&rsquo;s all worthwhile.   That&rsquo;s often all it takes to keep you going.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Developmental issues for young children in foster care</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>health</category><category>identity</category><category>life skills</category><dc:date>2009-08-10T22:08:59+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e3a0fc362ccd889093288d8849941db7-76.php#unique-entry-id-76</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e3a0fc362ccd889093288d8849941db7-76.php#unique-entry-id-76</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[If you follow us on Twitter you will have seen us highlight this article from the American Academy of Pediatrics a week or so ago.   It&rsquo;s called Developmental Issues for Young Children in Foster Care, and while it was published in November 2000, it is as relevant today as it was then.


...If you are a carer, or about to become a carer, read it. 


It&rsquo;s one of the most complete analyses of some of the early development issues faced by children in care in their early years.   It&rsquo;s an academic article, so you&rsquo;ll find the language, well, academic. ...  There are so many relevant points in it we were nodding at nearly every paragraph. 


We found much of our foster care training focused on the high level issues you and your foster child will face.   It wasn&rsquo;t until we were in charge of a small person who had so much to make up, that we realised we needed a lot more information on how to accelerate learning and development, if that was indeed possible, and how to deal with the real day to day issues around attachment.


We think this article is so useful that over the next few posts we&rsquo;re going to highlight some of the key aspects of it. ...  But we&rsquo;ve faced so many of these issues with the Camper, that it&rsquo;s not academic to us anymore.


...Let&rsquo;s paraphrase the article: brain growth and development are most active in the early years of life &ndash; that&rsquo;s when personality traits, learning processes, and coping with stress and emotions are established and then become permanent for children.


For children who have little stimulation, or who deal with child abuse or family violence, this development may either stall or be impaired.


What is needed to let children develop their cognitive (perception, memory, judgment and reasoning), language and socialisation skills is stimulation and nurturing.   So as a carer, you might find you need to do more than just attend to the physical needs of this child. 

...When faced with a child failing to thrive we planned each day to cover many experiences.   Among other things we sang, played, ran, hopped, jumped, swam, did kindy gym, talked endlessly and explained everything, played with words, mimicked one another, played with water and sand, played upside down, cuddled animals - both real and soft, chose and cherished special comfort toys, and read stories every single day.   There were lots of social experiences too, visits to parks and playgrounds, shopping centres and coffee shops, family and friends&rsquo; homes. 

...You need to make sure you talk to all the resources at your disposal &ndash; workers, paediatricians, health services and others &ndash; to work out what may be needed for your foster child, and in fact what is possible.


But we can tell you we are in awe of what a child is able to achieve.   And the more you can invest in them, the better chance they&rsquo;ll have.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Who is watching out for the children?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>general</category><dc:date>2009-07-29T23:41:40+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/2c619b4bb4b1133bf07ac16b8ecce231-75.php#unique-entry-id-75</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/2c619b4bb4b1133bf07ac16b8ecce231-75.php#unique-entry-id-75</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Today, two &lsquo;popular&rsquo; entertainers carried out a stunt, whereby a 14 year old girl was brought by her mother to their studio, hooked up to a lie detector, and quizzed on air by the radio hosts about her sexual history.   The media coverage states that her mother, who attended, wanted to know whether her daughter had taken drugs or was sexually active.


While anyone with some standards has probably had a meltdown, those of us a bit closer to children at risk sighed.   There are so many things wrong with this stunt, not the least of which is the &lsquo;me, I didn&rsquo;t do anything wrong&rsquo; online explanation from one of the entertainers (we&rsquo;re not even going to link to any of the coverage, sorry).


...Well, we expect that society will look out for children.


The girl was 14 years of age.    In our country that is underage.   So let&rsquo;s see where the buck should have stopped.


We think it highly unlikely that the child was able to fully understand what she was getting herself into, and the full implications of what might occur.   There&rsquo;s informed consent and we doubt she had it. 

...So we think it was highly inappropriate for the mother to either coerce, acquiesce to or simply allow her underage daughter to be questioned on air about her sexual history.   So mother hasn&rsquo;t the best judgment?


We think is highly inappropriate for a commercial radio station to provide a forum for a careless parent to expose her underage child to such an experience.


Was there no adult there who questioned whether this was in the child&rsquo;s best interests?


What is&nbsp;sad&nbsp;beyond&nbsp;belief&nbsp;is that&nbsp;not&nbsp;one&nbsp;adult&nbsp;considered&nbsp;the&nbsp;segment (because of the girl's age and the line of questioning)&nbsp;to&nbsp;be&nbsp;exploitative,&nbsp;damaging&nbsp;and&nbsp;negligent.  &nbsp;Or if they did, they were prepared to compromise that for ratings and revenue.


When adults absolve themselves of responsibility for children, when commercial enterprises throw out standards in the pursuit of revenue, and when ignorant egotists rule the airwaves, the victims are the kids.


And sadly, this pattern of failure after failure is all too common.   The question is not &lsquo;who is responsible?&rsquo;   It&rsquo;s &lsquo;who is going to take responsibility?&rsquo;
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Humans are very poor judges</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>roles</category><category>training</category><category>policy</category><dc:date>2009-07-22T22:40:22+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1c3aa5d979e06dbd1f41435aa10d9678-74.php#unique-entry-id-74</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1c3aa5d979e06dbd1f41435aa10d9678-74.php#unique-entry-id-74</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[&lsquo;The most fundamental problem with child protection in Australia is a philosophical one&hellip; the source of the problem is the erroneous assumption that because the protagonists in child abuse are people&hellip;the solution lies with other more socially competent people who are employed to make judicious decisions about risk and provide wise advice on parenting.&rsquo;


This paragraph is from the article by James Barber published in the SMH. 


If we had to summarise the article in one word (and we are not known for our brevity), we&rsquo;d say it was on specialisation.   It&rsquo;s about making use of more specialised skills and methods in judging families and children at risk.   Just as medicine has moved to make use of science over &lsquo;practice wisdom&rsquo;, Barber suggests that children&rsquo;s services must follow suit. 


The issue is whether humans can really detach themselves from their own prejudices and experiences to make objective decisions about other humans? 


We&rsquo;d all like to think we can.   But whether we can or not, the other way of looking at the issue is to ask &lsquo;are there now better ways to review information and make decisions about children and families at risk?&rsquo;


It would be a brave person who said no. 


Barber advocates for Evidence Based Practice, which suspends the human judgment in judging humans, and &lsquo;which is about the conscientious, explicit and judicious use of the best available evidence in making decisions about the care of individual clients&rsquo;.


He mentions recent research in North America.   It has proven that mathematicians and actuaries, making use of bucket loads of data in a way that one person simply cannot, are actually able to make better decisions about families at risk than social workers.


Considering that the way most people manage the daily onslaught of work and life challenges is to find the &lsquo;norm&rsquo; or pull everything towards the average, it seems entirely reasonable to us that more technology, science and skill is required to handle some of the critical calls in children&rsquo;s services.  


And if the out of home care system is only going to be more distributed to the private agencies, as per the Wood Royal Commission recommendations, more rigour, science and common standards are essential. 


It sounds funny to consider that certain parts of the children&rsquo;s services model need to lose the human element, but after mulling over this for a week we think it does. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Who should assess whether families are at risk?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>roles</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2009-07-11T09:27:25+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/461e5ec3a0cd49e517aa49c9b114a635-73.php#unique-entry-id-73</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/461e5ec3a0cd49e517aa49c9b114a635-73.php#unique-entry-id-73</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Every so often a very provocative article comes across our desk.


There are very frank conversations that should happen in relation to children&rsquo;s services, but we&rsquo;re not sure they happen very often, if at all.


So it&rsquo;s refreshing to see a completely different viewpoint offered, especially by someone with relevant experience. 


This article is quite challenging.   Here James Barber suggests that there are people better qualified than social workers to assess families most at risk.


We&rsquo;ll write more about it soon.]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Foster children walking on eggshells</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>life skills</category><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>identity</category><dc:date>2009-06-25T22:15:52+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/c3fd50757d6d06e24071daaa3912de32-72.php#unique-entry-id-72</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/c3fd50757d6d06e24071daaa3912de32-72.php#unique-entry-id-72</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Here is a quote, from a real person, Jennifer, who runs a site called Foster Care in America.   Her site gets the thumbs up from us because of its constructive focus, and its positive objectives.   Jennifer highlights foster care alumni and their achievements, and has recently started writing about her experiences as a child in care.   How&rsquo;s that for leadership?


So just take a moment, close your eyes, and try to think about what that might feel like.   Knowing that the most fundamental element of your life &ndash; where you live and who you live with &ndash; might change at any moment. 

...Why on earth would you begin to put down any roots?   Why would you bother?


Children are learning to live with a level of stress that most of us only deal with as adults.   What does that do to them? 


As adults, we have lots of resources available to help us cope with stress.   We have the ability to research for ourselves.   We have support groups, family networks and often employers who care enough to teach us to deal with it or to support us if it becomes overwhelming.   And we have life experience to put the stressful event in some sort of context. 


Kids have none of that.  

...So, time for the &lsquo;state the obvious&rsquo; question:


If moving children causes them such stress, shouldn&rsquo;t we aim not to move them?   Or if we need to move them, shouldn&rsquo;t we have the guts to make it permanent, at the very least for those early formative years.   When there is so much evidence that multiple moves harm children, why do we keep accepting that it is the best we can do? 


Imagine if we could get a Prime Minister to say &lsquo;No child should walk on eggshells, knowing that at any moment without warning; HOME CHANGE!&rsquo;
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>&#x27;Shattered father failed by DoCS system&#x27;</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>government</category><category>agency</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-06-17T22:30:08+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/6170d673a77e9f2c1c0e0ec4e61d266e-71.php#unique-entry-id-71</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/6170d673a77e9f2c1c0e0ec4e61d266e-71.php#unique-entry-id-71</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[OK, we&rsquo;d like to warn anyone who has been more than an occasional reader of this blog to hold on. 

...We regularly hold social work agencies and workers up to scrutiny for poor policy, poor performance, and poor people management.   But we try to balance our rants with some constructive suggestions about what the preferred approach should be.   And as we are foster parents in the system, we are actively putting our money where our mouth is.   We&rsquo;ve earned our right to have a say and it is an informed one. 

...So we&rsquo;ve been watching this week&rsquo;s vitriol from the great uninformed about DoCS&rsquo; performance in relation to the 12 year old mum to be.   If you follow us on Twitter (@fostercarer) then you&rsquo;ll have seen some tweets (and if you don&rsquo;t follow us on Twitter, give it a go. 

...All fingers, including those of anyone who can type a comment on a news website, are pointing to DoCS as having failed the expectant child.   Despite an order awarding custody to the mother, who was clearly not fit to care for the child or provide a safe home (so who made THAT decision?)  , when the non-custodial father raised his concerns to DoCS about the child&rsquo;s welfare, they didn&rsquo;t remove the child. 


In work and life we believe you should cop it on the chin when you deserve it. 

...Even Community Services Minister Linda Burney seems to have waved goodbye to the horse as it bolted past her out the gate, and has given up trying to provide any cogent explanation as to what really happened in DoCS when one of these cases hits the headlines.


So we applauded just a bit when we saw this piece from Tory Maguire on The Punch, entitled Blaming Government for rotten parents.


She writes: &lsquo;Blaming the authorities has become the default position for so many people who don&rsquo;t think the ultimate responsibility for the care of children lies with their parents.&rsquo;


...We&rsquo;re not sure who appointed DoCS as the only defence for children in this state, but they seem to be expected to pick up the pieces when it all goes pear-shaped no matter what the previous circumstances.   If they were resourced, and structured to do just that, then we&rsquo;d be leading the calls for accountability.   The problem with all this is that slowly, relentlessly, we are accepting the idea that DoCS is ultimately and finally responsible. 

...We have a child in care because the decision was made that her birth family couldn&rsquo;t care for her properly.   She was at serious risk of immediate harm and enduring hardship, and a worker mobilised the system to remove her and initiated the decision to keep her safe. 

...So here&rsquo;s a quiet round of applause for all the dedicated DoCS workers who make the right decisions. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>A child&#x27;s right to privacy</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>training</category><category>identity</category><dc:date>2009-06-16T21:41:07+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1cd0650d8702649ddd9505c7b070f1bc-70.php#unique-entry-id-70</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1cd0650d8702649ddd9505c7b070f1bc-70.php#unique-entry-id-70</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[As foster carers who have a front row seat on how the system should work better, we&rsquo;d like to inject a note of caution in response to The Australian&rsquo;s editorial A Dangerous Secrecy (11/06/09). 


It was part of the Oz&rsquo;s reporting on eight children taken into care.


The editorial comments that &lsquo;It is not abused and neglected children who are damaged by publicity, it is the people who hurt them&rsquo;. 


We don&rsquo;t have a problem with publicity as long as it gets something fixed.   We don&rsquo;t have a problem with freer constraints on reporting matters of public interest, as long as it is done very, very carefully.   We&rsquo;ve asked before whether more information from skilful journos may be in order (see our previous post Reporting more detail on children in care?)


But a child in care has the right to grow up with the privacy the rest of us enjoy.   They have enough issues to deal with in relation to who they are and where they came from.   They do not need details of their lives spread out for all in their community to read, and remember.


You may face this privacy issue quite regularly in your role as carer.   There are instances where adults who find out you are carers launch into twenty questions. 

...What are the circumstances with birth family? 


Sometimes people even try to be helpful: Were there drugs or mental health or violence or neglect or abandonment or health or developmental delay or behaviour issues?


So what do you say?   You may feel cornered, and you may try to stumble through some explanation. 


Here&rsquo;s what we would say, with a smile: &lsquo;Oh, we&rsquo;re not at liberty to go into any of that with anyone outside the child&rsquo;s immediate family&rsquo;.   If pushed, we will elaborate further with: &lsquo;All of that information is private to the child&rsquo;.   And if we think a further explanation might make them think twice about being quite so intrusive next time, we might finish with: &lsquo;The child does not deserve to have the details of their private life shared with anyone other than their immediate family&rsquo;.   Keep smiling while you say it, you&rsquo;d be surprised how that diffuses things. 


...And we need to be careful not to use them as such, even if our intention is to try to fix the system.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Self control&#x2c; and self interest&#x2c; for children in care?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>behaviour</category><category>training</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>life skills</category><dc:date>2009-06-09T22:56:26+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/67a82240b4247543cec619bc4b081a59-69.php#unique-entry-id-69</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/67a82240b4247543cec619bc4b081a59-69.php#unique-entry-id-69</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[The experiment, carried out in the 1960&rsquo;s at Stanford University, put nursery school children in a room with a treat.   The researcher offered that they could eat it straight away, but that if they waited until the researcher came back before eating it, they would get a second treat.   A number of children successfully waited, and they used a number of mechanisms to take their focus off the treat sitting before them.


Over time, and with further analysis, the researcher &lsquo;began to notice a link between the children&rsquo;s academic performance as teenagers and their ability to wait for the second marshmallow&rsquo;. 


We quote: &lsquo; &ldquo;What we&rsquo;re really measuring with the marshmallows isn&rsquo;t will power or self-control,&rdquo; Mischel says. ...  They want the second marshmallow, but how can they get it?   We can&rsquo;t control the world, but we can control how we think about it.&rdquo;&rsquo;


...So many stories from children in care highlight how powerless and fearful they felt.   So much of a skilled and loving parent&rsquo;s task should be to teach children how to make situations work for them, to understand the &lsquo;give and take&rsquo; or negotiations that they need to undertake for many reasons &ndash; safety, happiness, fulfilment, success.   And if that kind of care and teaching is missing, how disadvantaged are these children in coping with life?


Often when a child in care comes to live with you, self-control will be an alien concept.   They can be completely impulsive, fearful of change and dreadfully upset when any experience they are enjoying ends. 


Nowdays, the degree of negotiation that goes on at our house makes us feel a bit like the United Nations. ...  But after reading this article, we are pleased to see that the our child is well and truly working out how to make situations work for them. 


It&rsquo;s a good day when you see that sense of robustness and, to be frank, self-interest.   There is plenty of time to teach them to put others first, but given their background, sometimes you have to actively teach them to put themselves first. 

...They learn, sometimes for the first time in their lives, how it feels to have every need catered for. 

...Second, offer them both a reason to do what you want them to do, and an understanding of the consequences.   It takes time and it takes energy, and sometimes it will clearly be beyond their understanding and willpower.   But they will began to learn how everything is connected, that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and that their actions trigger different outcomes.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Social work survey says workers described negatively</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>roles</category><category>behaviour</category><category>agency</category><category>training</category><dc:date>2009-05-26T21:36:15+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/438e0c8d5b64a4c4a85be63faf53a7e9-68.php#unique-entry-id-68</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/438e0c8d5b64a4c4a85be63faf53a7e9-68.php#unique-entry-id-68</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[And they found that &lsquo;Journalists used negative words to describe social work roughly five times as often as positive or sympathetic words&rsquo;.


...&lsquo;Words (describing social workers' conduct, ability or demeanour) varied from "inept" and "arrogant" to serious personal allegations, such as "bullying", and "blackmailing".   Social workers will no doubt be alarmed that the second most used word was "bully" or "bullying".&lsquo; 


...In colloquial speech, bullying often describes a form of harassment perpetrated by an abuser who possesses more physical and/or social power and dominance than the victim.


...While the survey reviewed journalists&rsquo; reporting (and has some interesting things to say on whether all sides of the story are able to be presented), here&rsquo;s our experience of some behaviour that was not social work&rsquo;s finest hour.


A worker raising the same issue, after we had indicated we didn&rsquo;t agree with it, at every single phone call, email message and visit.   It was the wrong thing for the particular child and so we just kept saying no. 


Now we&rsquo;d call them on it, indicate we have answered the question and unless they have new reasons to raise it again, we consider the issue has been dealt with. 


...We stayed calm and suggested she learn how to receive feedback and work with various parties to achieve agreement. 

...Our particular favourite was &lsquo;this is what you signed up for&rsquo; (so you as the carer don&rsquo;t get a say). 


We cheerfully advised that we signed up to care for a child, not to slavishly agree with the workers on everything without analysis and debate. 


...When that support person spoke, they were told they were allowed to be present at the meeting, but not to speak. 


If we were in that situation again, we would initiate a discussion at the start of the meeting as to the roles of all the people present and establish the ground rules.


...The unspoken assumption, exhibited by the worker in each instance, was that they held the power, the decision-making responsibility, or the high moral ground. 

...The interplay of all the adults responsible for a child&rsquo;s life can be a delicate matter.


Carers expect the worker to have skill and experience, we care for this child and want to do the right thing for them, and we know the agency has a role to play.   But workers are from an institution with all the authority that comes with it, and we are just a family or an individual. 

...Lest we scare off any prospective carers out there, we hasten to tell you that we have experienced the other side of the spectrum. ...  They share their views without lecturing, and they are prepared to listen to the carers, and more importantly, the child. 


...We hope you are recognized within the system as the exceptional workers you are, and we hope other, less experienced workers learn from you.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Children in care need a pushy parent</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>government</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2009-05-13T06:41:08+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7f5bd33630144f05ae10ce039e1d5fbf-67.php#unique-entry-id-67</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7f5bd33630144f05ae10ce039e1d5fbf-67.php#unique-entry-id-67</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[&lsquo;England's care system needs a radical overhaul with the state acting as a "pushy parent" to get the very best for the children in its charge, MPs say.&rsquo;


...Someone needs to &ndash; let&rsquo;s say it like it is &ndash; fight for these children, or never give up, just like a parent who loves them dearly.


...At a system level, the state should put in place the best care for these children, and use its considerable muscle to make sure that level of care is provided.


...&lsquo;A report by the Commons' Children, Schools and Families Committee says the state fails as a "parent" because it does not demand enough from services.&rsquo;


...Like a seat at the table in decisions about the child, and an evaluation of whether their &lsquo;one size fitted all&rsquo; policy really applied to our child in care. ...  They lined up one after the other like dominoes, to tell us that we were &lsquo;just the carers&rsquo; and their policy won.


&lsquo;We welcome the government's assertion that it should become exceptional for a young person to leave care before they turn 18, and hope that it will precipitate a culture change in local authorities.&rsquo;


...But think about what the system teaches many of these children, by bouncing them from home to home to home through their childhood.   By moving these children so many times, we are actively teaching them that attachment is transient, that they will survive moving homes, and that they really shouldn&rsquo;t learn to care about a family. 

...&lsquo;(entering the care system) must be seen as a positive experience, but this will only happen if the state can better replicate the warm, secure care of good parents for every child in the system.&rsquo;


We have cared for children and become the longest term and most enduring relationships in their lives.   The younger the child the more chance you have that love, warmth and security overwhelms any conscious memories of earlier unsettled times.   And yet too often there seems to be no sense of urgency in finding this for children.


&lsquo;For some children care should be seen as "the best available option rather than a last resort", they said.&rsquo;


Care will be the best available option for children when it is permanent. ...  So maybe we need to have the courage to make a decision for the child&rsquo;s sake early on.   Does the birth parent have a perpetual right to try and get their child back, no matter what? ...  Or too much of the plan with birth parent is visible to the child, before there are any indications it will be successful. 

...&lsquo;&hellip;concern for the happiness and welfare of the 60,000 children in care should be at the heart of the system.&rsquo;


...But try to break this principle down to reasonable, sensible decisions that put the child first, and too often policy, process and research get in the way.  ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>How do you become a foster carer?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>training</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2009-05-06T22:38:35+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/80d64ea5122c1096e674c97a6dd9f099-66.php#unique-entry-id-66</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/80d64ea5122c1096e674c97a6dd9f099-66.php#unique-entry-id-66</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Our blog is about helping you understand all the things that the manuals and the agencies and the blurbs don&rsquo;t tell you.   So we won&rsquo;t reproduce all the decent information already available from government and non-government agencies &ndash; but we will link to it.


If you are thinking about becoming a foster carer, here are our reminders as you go through the process. 


...You may need to make up huge deficits in every aspect of their health, education, socialisation, emotional growth.  

...There are no right reasons, but we&rsquo;ve written before about making sure that you know what you want or need out of it.   It can be tough, and let&rsquo;s be blunt, if you are doing it to meet some need of yours, then you may be disappointed. ...  We know carers who came to fostering when they were unable to have their own biological children.   We know other carers who have been very successful at everything they have done in family and career and want to give something back.   The assessment process will quiz you on your motivation, so spend some time thinking it through. 

...If you are already a parent then you may have this in place. 

...Our blog is Australian, so the resources we will point you to are Australian. 

...There is plenty of information available online from both the Department of Community Services (NSW and other Australian states), and Non-Government Foster care agencies. 


...You will be able to click through to their websites for more information.


Note that the links are sometimes to &lsquo;Out-of-home care&rsquo;, which is another name for foster care. 


There are differences in approach, support, structure and process between DOCS and the private agencies.   We&rsquo;ve experienced both over many years, and have made some suggestions on our site before.   You need to make sure you know what to expect from the agency.   They can over-service you, under-support you, have policies that say one thing on paper and mean something else in practice, and may have vastly differing levels of skills and experience in their workers.   You may not be able to avoid the issues but it helps if you know what you are getting into.   Just as child and you should be a good match, so too should you and the agency.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Reporting more detail on children in care?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>life story</category><category>policy</category><category>procedure</category><category>government</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-04-28T17:20:09+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/19410eca4ea0b8f66f7f9fe678d10ae6-65.php#unique-entry-id-65</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/19410eca4ea0b8f66f7f9fe678d10ae6-65.php#unique-entry-id-65</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[This came from Caroline Overington (#overingtonc) via Twitter.   The full article is called The girl in the window, and recounts, in quite astonishing detail, the story of a 9 year old Florida girl. 


She was so neglected and abused in her birth family that she now suffers developmental delay of the most extreme, fundamental kind.   She has been adopted by a family who are trying to mend what they can.   The article discloses a great deal of personal information about the child and her birth family, and a lot of detail on what the child experienced.


It should be compulsory reading for anyone who thinks they have an informed opinion on children&rsquo;s services. 


So, why can&rsquo;t Overington and other responsible journos report this type of story, at this level of detail, in Australia? 


Should we be able to report this type of story at this level of detail? 


How can you work to a solution when no one is able to openly discuss the problem? 


Can you educate all the people involved when the facts remain hidden?


Can you bring struggling parents to some degree of self-awareness if they never hear other stories they might identify with?


Can you report at this level of detail and still protect people&rsquo;s privacy, particularly the children&rsquo;s?


Perhaps it is time for a new approach.


Just today it was reported that &rsquo;Australian health and welfare agencies &hellip; formed a taskforce to combat increasing numbers of child abuse and neglect, which reached 55,000 cases last year&rsquo;.


With notifications for alleged child abuse and neglect almost tripling in Australia between 1999 and 2007, the problem isn&rsquo;t being solved by existing methods. 


So maybe the time has come to give some committed, experienced, responsible journos the green light to start reporting. 


Is it too easy to consider it &lsquo;someone else&rsquo;s problem&rsquo; if we don&rsquo;t get too close to it?
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>When do we listen to the children?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>policy</category><category>procedure</category><dc:date>2009-04-18T21:08:52+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/04b37fbc9e6095e07587289f7eb65244-64.php#unique-entry-id-64</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/04b37fbc9e6095e07587289f7eb65244-64.php#unique-entry-id-64</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Well done to Jenny Brockie and her team for the Insight program on Kids on Divorce. 


While we think it is one of the most thought-provoking shows on the box, sometimes the dive is way too shallow. ...  And presenting one perspective, while powerful, can leave a viewer wondering what the other &lsquo;side&rsquo; is. 

...But Brockie and Co should be giving lessons, for they are doing what too many institutions, and individuals, have failed to do for a long time now. 


...And in this episode the kids had a view on divorce and its impact on them. 


...Where does the system give the secondary players (that would be the minor children) a say?   Too often they are deemed too young to know what&rsquo;s best for them.   But their behaviour will often tell you that what is happening to them isn&rsquo;t good. 


...We once counselled a senior corporate executive that IF he asked the question then he needed to SHOW how he was acting on the answers.


...But if you spend enough time with them, you will hear a consistent message. 


...Too often the system pays lip service to listening, and then marshals all the research to tell the individual why they are wrong.   Anyone who&rsquo;s done at least a year at uni knows that you can make the statistics say just about anything if you try hard enough and ask the right questions. 


...The most amazing comment we ever heard was from a private agency senior manager who told us that neither the child we were caring for nor we ourselves were unique. ...  We&rsquo;re happy to say that there is no one else EXACTLY the same as us in the world. ...  You wanted to classify us as average so we would fit the statistics and do as you said.


...We watched a worker sit beside a very young child in out of home care, and listen. ...  It was done with such care and skill that we were mightily impressed.   So if one person in the system can do it, why can&rsquo;t everyone?


...We use our love for the child, our knowledge of the child, and our desire to see the child become the person they deserve to be.   It would be nice if the system listened a bit harder to us as well.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>At what age can a child make his/her own decision?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>government</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>policy</category><category>procedure</category><category>roles</category><dc:date>2009-04-06T21:47:36+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/07a806eeef94371e5d37a0e8563cbe23-62.php#unique-entry-id-62</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/07a806eeef94371e5d37a0e8563cbe23-62.php#unique-entry-id-62</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[There&rsquo;s been a lot in the news lately regarding children trying to juggle the needs of both parents after a marriage breakdown.   Yes, you heard right &ndash; the children often do the juggling &ndash; emotions, loyalty, sheer tiredness, change of homes.   Unfortunately the decision often seems to pay little regard to what the children want. ...  &lsquo;They are too young to know what&rsquo;s best for them&rsquo;. 


As a foster parent your child may well be juggling contact with a birth family and life with you.   Depending on their age and the circumstances you may also find loyalty issues, emotions and stress come from that contact.


So at what age is a child able to offer a valid viewpoint on their contact with a non-custodial parent? 


...Dare we ask whether younger children, in certain circumstances, actually know what they need?


Our role, as second parents who love the child, is to prepare a child for living their life. ...  Given their circumstances and the players in their lives, we think the sooner they learn that skill the better. 


...You can teach a child to talk about things, and not bottle it up.   You can teach them to articulate how they feel and explore their reactions.   You can help them work through how they feel and how to manage.   Importantly, you can teach them to accept their circumstances as part of life and get it in perspective. 

...Creating and forming opinions, and the two way interaction that usually follows, teaches a child what a good decision looks like. 


The importance of this became clear to us when we had a worker who &lsquo;ran&rsquo; access.   We have no doubts that came about because the agency had an agenda to restore the child to birth parent, combined with a ferocious &lsquo;tick-the-box&rsquo; approach.   The agency paid lip-service to &lsquo;we are a team and we want your contribution&rsquo; but that was a crock.   Not only did the relentlessly artificial management of the visit unsettle the child mightily, it created a false expectation in the birth family about prospects in the future. 


We think that the adults in &lsquo;the system&rsquo;, from workers to the judiciary, need to listen a lot more carefully to the small people. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>&#x27;Shared parenting&#x27; in foster care?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>access</category><dc:date>2009-03-31T23:39:49+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/2348ef7f34e36615094550c0d01a2cb5-61.php#unique-entry-id-61</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/2348ef7f34e36615094550c0d01a2cb5-61.php#unique-entry-id-61</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[The whole &lsquo;shared parenting - isn&rsquo;t it a good idea&rsquo; debate goes on.   Caroline Overington reports on a custody ruling where once again, the kids seem to come off worst.


We&rsquo;re not going to wade into the circumstances of a family breakdown where parents battle over shared care.   But there are parallels in relation to children who have been removed from their birth parent/s and still have contact. 


...We&rsquo;re in favour of contact with birth family.   That&rsquo;s what we signed up for as carers, and we think it&rsquo;s a good approach.   That doesn&rsquo;t mean it isn&rsquo;t one of the hardest things to deal with, and challenging for your loved foster babe, but in the long term we think it&rsquo;s best.   The child knows where they came from, knows the reality of their birth family. 


But what saddened us about the story, and about a number of the comments on the story from readers, was how it was all about the parents and their rights.   What seemed to sit behind this story, and in fact behind the shared parenting principle, Is the assumption that - despite enormous changes in the child&rsquo;s circumstances - their relationship with a parent shouldn&rsquo;t, and doesn&rsquo;t, change at all. 


...You may face this in your contact with a birth parent. 


You may find you have a birth parent who still wants to &lsquo;parent&rsquo;. ...  They might actively tell your foster child that they still play a role.   For an older child or a child likely to be reunited with their birth parent, that&rsquo;s great.   If you have a child who is with you until they are 18 or more, it can be very confronting.   For a little one who may not know this birth parent very well, it can be terrifying. 


...You need to be clear about the type of relationship that is appropriate for your foster child.   Just as contact with a birth parent is about your child accepting reality, a birth parent needs to accept reality as well. 

...A child who has maintained contact with a birth parent can deepen that relationship as they get older.   But it should happen when the child is ready to cope with it and wants it, not because all the adults in the relationship are so intent on maintaining &lsquo;their rights&rsquo; that the children come last.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>US laws ban single foster carers</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>government</category><category>placement</category><dc:date>2009-03-22T21:55:09+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0e0997290cfb345be13382459f1b02e2-60.php#unique-entry-id-60</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0e0997290cfb345be13382459f1b02e2-60.php#unique-entry-id-60</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We&rsquo;ve had debates about obese people fostering, and now a number of US states have passed laws that will, among other things, prevent single carers from fostering. 


It seems inconceivable that policy-makers would try to limit who can apply, when the most important thing should be finding these children someone to love them.


...The conservative movement considers that the appropriate family is a mum, a dad and the kids. 


...But most children entering care left a perfect world far behind them, if in fact they ever knew it. 

...Maybe, just maybe, the best care for many of these children might be finding one person who loves them. 

...The authorities have an obligation to seek out the best for these children once they enter care.   But that doesn&rsquo;t mean the nuclear family is essential in all instances.   And it doesn&rsquo;t mean the nuclear family is possible in all circumstances. 


Should these children be denied a home where one parent who loves and nurtures them might be more than they have ever had before? 


We know many single carers, both foster parents and birth parents.   Without exception they are very aware of what they need to supplement, for themselves and for the children, to provide a well-balanced life. 


So for a solo mother, that might mean a loved uncle or grandad who provides a strong male role model for the child. ...  For children of a solo parent, that might mean close contact with married couples. 

...Foster children often deal with a birth family, so their concept of the perfect &lsquo;nuclear family&rsquo; is already well extended.   We suspect they are not nearly as hung up on the structure of the care they go into as the moral majority.   Families come in all shapes and sizes, and often the children accept this more readily than adults.


So we are pleased to see that agencies in Australia consider that sole carers, with the right support, can make excellent foster parents.


For many of these children, a stable home with one loving parent is a vast improvement on what they have experienced. 


And provided the child&rsquo;s education and life experience shows them all the options that make up &lsquo;a family&rsquo;, their home circumstances should be a positive thing, not a negative. 


The US must be well served with carers if they can afford to be so exclusive. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>&#x27;Make haste slowly&#x27; implementing the Wood recommendations</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>government</category><category>agency</category><category>policy</category><category>roles</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-03-01T21:54:01+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/39f2a219be81913c31234a4769cca323-59.php#unique-entry-id-59</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/39f2a219be81913c31234a4769cca323-59.php#unique-entry-id-59</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We don&rsquo;t go around quoting the ancient Romans, but this gem from Augustus has been in our family for years, and it seems entirely apt.


We take serious issue with Mr Crispin Hull from Barnardos on a number of points in his SMH article.


He is giving the Government a right hurry up in relation to the planning and implementation of the Wood Royal Commission recommendations.   He warns that DOCs and member unions might be defending their territory and resisting change. 


And yet his article is at risk of sounding like a territory grab. ...  But his organisation stands to gain a great deal from the proposed changes - financially, in scale and in responsibility.   We&rsquo;d be much happier if the hurry up came from someone who didn&rsquo;t have a vested interest in the outcome. 


...But we haven&rsquo;t seen him out there jumping about in relation to the timing. 


...There is a level of detail Commissioner Wood would not have gone into.   And he had to rely on submissions which had, as their purpose, WHY a change is justified. ...  And if DOCs is as dysfunctional as everyone says, then understanding that in order to hand it over to someone else will take time.


...We do, but not on this scale, and not the breadth of cases we are talking about here.   So we can&rsquo;t assume that the system of governance and monitoring currently in place is sufficient.   And we can&rsquo;t assume the agencies have processes that will scale up.   And we can&rsquo;t assume they will have the skill base to cope with it.    And we can&rsquo;t assume that moving people across from DOCs to private agencies will actually change a thing. 


Here are just some of the issues that need to be solved:


...Many companies have done it in order to provide better service and cut costs, and have found the management of it quite extraordinary. 


...We just think that such a huge change needs to be planned and implemented well.


Or we might find that we end up swapping an &lsquo;unworkable&rsquo; monolithic government department for an outsourced model where no one is accountable and children don&rsquo;t just fall through the cracks, they disappear into a chasm. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Real life foster care - up close and personal</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-02-24T20:29:03+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/71be28b1416b4c3e3d8ba6351fc71098-58.php#unique-entry-id-58</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/71be28b1416b4c3e3d8ba6351fc71098-58.php#unique-entry-id-58</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Want to know about foster care?


It&rsquo;s not often that fostering and children in care, with all the privacy constraints that appropriately go with it, can be so open.   If you are thinking of fostering, or are a carer, this Australian Story provides a very detailed and personal view of children in care from the perspective of all parties. 


If you missed it on Monday 23rd February on the ABC (NSW):


It will be broadcast again on Saturday 28th February at 12.30pm.


You can read the transcript on the Australian Story site.


Or if you have the bandwidth (both technical and personal!)   you can watch it online.


Stay tuned - we will post our thoughts over the next week.]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Develop and maintain your relationship with birth family</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>roles</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-02-12T22:10:39+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/c59af349a10d1173ce29a2318760aec6-56.php#unique-entry-id-56</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/c59af349a10d1173ce29a2318760aec6-56.php#unique-entry-id-56</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Very few of the parents referred to members of their children&rsquo;s birth families by name. ...  She talked about the importance of maintaining the relationship between foster family and birth family. 

...She said that foster and birth parents should connect in some way. 


...But this can be more easily said than done, depending on the birth family and the social workers. 


Birth family will almost always have baggage, most of it acquired long before the foster parents came on the scene.   While understanding what&rsquo;s going on can be like working in the dark without your infrared goggles, the birth parent is not your responsibility. 


Another complicating factor can be workers who have an agenda about how they think the foster carer/birth family relationship should run.   They might discuss this with you, but they might not.    You might only see it when the workers try to take control of the relationship between birth family and child.   This may range from an active role for the worker at an access visit, to very explicit instructions to your foster child regarding how they interact with their birth family.   You, the carer, might even be told not to come to access.   


So here are the reasons we think that worker had it right. 

...	▪	The child sees it is not a competition between adults for his or her affection.


	▪	The birth family does not see it as a competition for the child&rsquo;s affection.


...	▪	You can talk to birth family about any issues that are impacting the child. 


	▪	Birth family will listen to you talk about issues that impact the child. 


	▪	The child sees that you are willing to really talk with the birth family.


	▪	If the adolescent child doesn&rsquo;t want any contact with birth family you are able to maintain it, until such time as they are ready to resume it. 


After all, these people are linked by blood to the person you have grown to love.   Whatever your view of birth family, the child in your care deserves that you treat that relationship with respect. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Call for obese kids to be taken into care</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>health</category><dc:date>2009-02-04T21:35:13+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e163a48766563d86b067c12c79e4e8d0-55.php#unique-entry-id-55</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e163a48766563d86b067c12c79e4e8d0-55.php#unique-entry-id-55</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We&rsquo;ve had lots of changes in the last couple of weeks, not the least of which has been the start of the school year and settling into a new routine.  


While we&rsquo;re on the subject of weight, we can tell you that on the face of it this article made us choke over our low fat breakfast cereal.


The first paragraph reads &lsquo;SEVERELY obese children should be notified to child protection authorities, and even taken into care, if their parents are unwilling or unable to help them lose weight, experts have argued.&rsquo;


We get REALLY annoyed at the apparent ease with which some &lsquo;experts&rsquo; in child services use the term &lsquo;taken into care&rsquo; in relation to children. 

...Many children don&rsquo;t get the best care from their parents.   They don&rsquo;t get the right diet, or the right attention, or the right education. 

...We&rsquo;re not social workers, and we have some sympathy for them in working out where the line should be. ...  The risk with articles like this is that we all end up talking about taking children off their birth families as if it&rsquo;s a nice little holiday the child might go on.


...And it shouldn&rsquo;t be shanghaied by anyone just to reinforce the seriousness of an issue.


The Camper is currently watching a new dog find its way around our house, yard and life.   She&rsquo;s been involved in the whole process of finding and bringing home the new pup.   She is very interested because she knows that at a young age she went through the same dislocation.   So it has given us a good opportunity to discuss how a dog, and by extension, a child, might feel, and act, and deal. 


We want to send a note to all the &lsquo;experts&rsquo; to use the words &lsquo;taken into care&rsquo; carefully. 


We don&rsquo;t take those words lightly, because we are at the working end of that decision.   We have a child in care, and we know the effort we have had to put in to making her feel secure, the deep seated trauma she suffered in being removed from her birth family, and the complexity of her ongoing relationship with her birth family.   We have no doubt the decision was the right one for her but we are glad it wasn&rsquo;t taken lightly. 


Taking a child into care is, and should remain, the ultimate act to secure their future. 


To suggest that careless, ill-educated or simply lazy parents should be threatened with it is completely wrong.   And it encourages the general public, reading a headline, to discount the real impact of such a decision.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Too fat to adopt?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>government</category><category>policy</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>health</category><dc:date>2009-01-22T21:58:37+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/aed60306d94541482d3d3612cc9f5e25-54.php#unique-entry-id-54</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/aed60306d94541482d3d3612cc9f5e25-54.php#unique-entry-id-54</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[This UK couple has been told they cannot adopt because the husband is classed as &lsquo;morbidly obese&rsquo;. 

...The local authority states  &lsquo;The council's adoption service has a legal responsibility to ensure that children are placed with adopters who are able to provide the best possible lifelong care&rsquo;.


We get to play both sides of the debate on this blog. 

...There are many parents who are obese, who smoke, who drink, who do recreational drugs.   In most of those instances they are not denied the right to parent their birth children. 


So on the face of it, are we applying a double standard to prospective adoptive or foster parents who may not be &lsquo;perfect&rsquo;? 


On the other hand, there are a number of parents out there whose alcohol or drug habits have spiralled out of control, or who have mental health and other issues.   They have had their children removed from their care for the children&rsquo;s safety.   Those children have already suffered loss in their lives. 


In adoption with a new family, the children deserve to know that the family they are placed with has the capacity to look after them for the long term.  


We have seen the effect of multiple moves on children. ...  The Camper has given us her heart, her love and her trust.   We know, quite simply, that to break that now would change her life forever. 


So if we put the child first, which is a theme of this site, then this couple needs to minimise any risk to their health. 


Adoptive or long term foster parents need to be as healthy and strong as they can be, not because the authority says so, but because some small child &ndash; who is going to give them his or her heart and trust - deserves it. 


We would suggest that it is the same standard that should apply to ANY parent by the way. ...  We find physical health to be key in handling the workload and the stress.   It helps us parent better by being able to share physical activity with our children. 


...There is a child out there who needs you, but they do need you for the long term.   You might not have met them yet but you owe it to them already.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Contact with birth families is good</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>access</category><category>policy</category><dc:date>2009-01-12T23:36:53+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/57badf61c70c94cb0a63b44768ca9982-53.php#unique-entry-id-53</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/57badf61c70c94cb0a63b44768ca9982-53.php#unique-entry-id-53</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[There are many reasons why it is beneficial for a child to know their birth family. 

...Knowing my origins - It is very difficult for a child, particularly when they start to attend school and families are on the curriculum, to cope with a complete blank where a birth parent&rsquo;s identity might be. 

...A sense of identity - This can be important physically, as the child begins to want to emulate or be part of their second family. 


...A sense of reality &ndash; as a child grows older they may want to know why they are not with their birth family. ...  It can be quite devastating for an older child to meet a birth parent and experience their shortcomings. 

...Understanding and communication - An opportunity for child and birth parent to communicate on these issues can be good.   It&rsquo;s tricky territory, for a birth parent may not be prepared to answer the hard questions, or may be in complete denial about what actually happened and their responsibility for it. 

...You can completely undermine a child&rsquo;s sense of security if contact with birth family overwhelms them and over-rides their daily life.   Let&rsquo;s state the obvious &ndash; access for a child who has a good chance of restitution with their birth family, should be very different to that of a child who has been put into the care of the Minister until they reach 18 years. 


We believe that the PURPOSE of contact should be an item on any case plan. 


The frequency of contact is usually covered, but we&rsquo;ve not experienced an open and frank discussion about the purpose.   We&rsquo;ve seen this come unstuck when a worker thought they were meant to re-establish the child/birth parent relationship, when the appropriate purpose of access was to &lsquo;maintain contact between child and birth parent&rsquo;. 

...Understanding the purpose of contact will help you know how access should run.


...It also resulted in a birth parent believing they had far more say in the child&rsquo;s life than was the case.   It was left to a more experienced worker to do damage control, and remind birth parent of the reality of the situation. 

...Understanding the purpose of contact will help you help the child manage their response to birth parent. 


It will help you know which behaviours, from child and birth parent, to support, and what you should hose down.   You know the child best, and you know what their life is now, so you are best placed to understand the impact access with a birth parent may have. 


...We recommend that you discuss this with your worker until you are really clear about what it means. ...  And we especially recommend it as a discussion with any new worker who wants to change some aspect of access. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>More understanding can mean more insecurity</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>access</category><category>life story</category><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2009-01-07T22:39:47+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/80db27f2e1b99ab380b4018d6dd60391-52.php#unique-entry-id-52</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/80db27f2e1b99ab380b4018d6dd60391-52.php#unique-entry-id-52</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[An older child might be able to articulate what they feel, what they understand, and what they are confused about in their life and their circumstances. ...  But with this understanding comes understanding: there will be more questions about their circumstances, and perhaps more insecurity about what it really means. 

...So you may suddenly find you have a small person who doesn&rsquo;t want to see birth family.   A small person who doesn&rsquo;t want to have a &lsquo;birth parent&rsquo;.   A small person who doesn&rsquo;t want to be different from their friends.  


But the &lsquo;system&rsquo; or the &lsquo;research&rsquo; will tell you it is good for them to know their birth family.   That maintaining contact is positive &ndash; that they won&rsquo;t create some fantasy life surrounding birth family. 

...For once, let&rsquo;s put ourselves in the shoes of one of these small people. 


...You&rsquo;re a resilient kid, so on a day-to-day basis, you manage to smile and laugh and make it look like you are OK. ...  You might still bang your head on the pillow occasionally at night, because that makes you feel better, but no one hears. 


You&rsquo;re a smart kid: you are very tuned in and hyper-aware of what&rsquo;s going on around you. ...  You are really quite grateful that you&rsquo;ve arrived at what seems to be a good place &ndash; the parents are nice and reasonable and give you a sense that they know how to deal. ...  They hug you and tell you that they are happy too, but you&rsquo;re not sure they really understand how you feel. 


...They are always the same, and you start to cautiously rely on them. ...  You see it in their eyes when they look at you. ...  One day, you begin to hope that this is how it is going to be.  


...That&rsquo;s been fine, up until the last few times when your birth parent started telling you that you were still part of their family and not to forget it.   You tried to shrug it off, but birth parent kept telling you every time you saw them. ...  But you&rsquo;ve had a few nightmares recently where your birth parent came and took you away.   You are really not sure that you want to see your birth family at the moment. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Do foster children always become troubled teens?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>government</category><category>agency</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>life skills</category><category>identity</category><dc:date>2008-12-28T23:48:39+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/5038c2ccd431470a3300b9dfee4e1198-51.php#unique-entry-id-51</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/5038c2ccd431470a3300b9dfee4e1198-51.php#unique-entry-id-51</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[&lsquo;AN AMERICAN academic is to run a five-year study of NSW children who are removed from their parents and placed in foster care in the hope of finding ways to stop them becoming troubled teenagers.&rsquo; 

...Either the legal process fails to catch up with the child&rsquo;s needs and the child spends too long in &lsquo;temporary care&rsquo;, or the system applies the invisible brand to them &ndash; &lsquo;foster child&rsquo; &ndash; and demands things of them that &lsquo;normal&rsquo; children never have to contemplate. 

...We&rsquo;ve cared for children who have been bounced around the system for some years before they landed with us. ...  Often their physical needs haven&rsquo;t been well looked after either, but they can be relatively easier to fix.   We throw every ounce of care, love and attention into making a child feel that we were their family, that we are here to stay. 


...We know carers who foster with an agency that has a strong agenda around restitution of the children with their birth families.   A new worker has suddenly told a carer, who has had a child in care from 4 months to early teen years, that she considers the child needs to have more contact with her birth mum.   They see birth mum and other members of the birth family every school holidays and it is pitched at just the right level.   The child is old enough to ask her foster mum, who she considers to be her mum, &lsquo;why?&rsquo; 

...We can tell you that this particular child is thriving &ndash; winning awards at school, happy, a very capable sportsperson, very savvy about her circumstances - and she handles her birth mum&rsquo;s probing for information with an ease well beyond her years. 

...The system recognises they have been put into long term care for a very good reason, and is not trying to undermine that. 

...They have contact with their birth families, but not at the expense of time with their new families and their sense of stability. 

...Imagine if you were a child, and had a worker continually telling you how important your birth mum was, insisting you cuddle the woman when you only see her 5 times a year, reminding you to your face that you are &lsquo;a child in care&rsquo;, not calling the mum and dad you live with &lsquo;mum&rsquo; or &lsquo;dad&rsquo;, but &lsquo;carer?   Imagine if you couldn&rsquo;t have a play date with your friends on a particular day in the school holidays because of contact with your birth family.   Imagine if you knew you couldn&rsquo;t go away on holidays with your family because you had to be back for access with your birth family? 


...Good governance demands that new workers review placements and all the circumstances around them, but aspects of the placement should not be changed without very good reason. ...  They should be discussed and reviewed with the carers over time before any decision to change is made.   Workers should be taught that leaving their individual mark on a case is not always a sign of success.


...So we are genuinely puzzled as to why the system has such a hard time codifying what works? 


...Maybe there are agendas and policies that the system, and those who work in it, need to give up?
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Good things come to those who wait?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>agency</category><category>training</category><category>procedure</category><category>Dorothy</category><dc:date>2008-12-21T23:26:19+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/453e7f5d7ac0503436ce2bc8b90e7ffc-50.php#unique-entry-id-50</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/453e7f5d7ac0503436ce2bc8b90e7ffc-50.php#unique-entry-id-50</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[It seems sometime since I updated you on my journey to become a foster carer.  &nbsp; 


&ldquo;Where&rsquo;ve you been?&rdquo;   you might ask.

...Well, I&rsquo;ve been sitting here waiting.  &nbsp; Waiting for the agency to complete their paperwork.  &nbsp; Waiting for checks to be completed and returned.  &nbsp; Waiting for a worker to get to my name on their list.  &nbsp; Now patience is something I oft struggle with and perhaps this is one of those life lessons that is long overdue.

...But leaving that to one side, if there is shortage of carers and children who desperately need a home, then I am bemused, nay befuddled, by the lack of urgency with which the system seems to move.  &nbsp; Each time I call to follow up and make sure that the agency has all it needs from me, I am met with the same story of how the process works and that they are very busy and will get to me in due course.  &nbsp; Does this apparent lack of resources simply mean there aren&rsquo;t enough workers?  &nbsp; Or are there more kids needing care than previously?  &nbsp; Or is it that there is a heightened awareness of children at risk which requires greater levels of investigation and the inevitable paperwork which follows.

...I suspect it is a combination.  &nbsp; So here I sit and wait for my new life to begin and wonder whether there is something else I should be doing in the meantime.  &nbsp; I only hope it&rsquo;s not like &ldquo;waiting for Godot&rdquo; for if my memory serves correctly, Godot never arrived.

...Yours in anticipation


Dorothy


Posted by Dorothy]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Foster parent rights?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>procedure</category><dc:date>2008-12-15T22:33:42+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e57292c79748eb27405213f0e008772f-49.php#unique-entry-id-49</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e57292c79748eb27405213f0e008772f-49.php#unique-entry-id-49</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We&rsquo;ve talked before about being called &lsquo;foster carers&rsquo; by the system, when as far as the children in care are concerned we are their parents. 

...You can read the article here:  &lsquo;Agony of deciding who will look after young&rsquo; &ndash; the byline is &lsquo;An Aboriginal mother has reclaimed her children, but the foster parents are furious, writes Adele Horin.&rsquo; 


By our reading of the article, the two children in question have been in care for about 4-5 years, from when they were very tiny.   The biological mother has reclaimed them, after getting her life back on track and establishing a stable relationship.


...&lsquo;When is the right time - if ever - to restore children to their biological parents?   How is it possible to weigh up children's stability and their attachment to their long-term foster carers against the potential enduring benefits of growing up in their biological family, knowing their siblings and their culture?&rsquo;


...The problem is &ndash; that terminology is loaded with meaning and riddled with assumptions.   We all use that language daily and it instantly evokes, for most of us, a sense of right and entitlement and relationships and outcomes. 


The people these children have lived with for the last 4-5 years &ndash; the bulk - of their lives are referred to in the paragraph as &lsquo;long term foster carers&rsquo;.   The article later explains that for one of the children the foster mother is &lsquo;the only mum he's known&rsquo;.


The foster carers lost out in that paragraph, big time.   The language does not describe any emotional connection with the child that most of us can relate to. 

...Here&rsquo;s how it might have read with one small change:


&lsquo;When is the right time - if ever - to restore children to their biological parents?   How is it possible to weigh up children's stability and their attachment to their second mum and dad and siblings against the potential enduring benefits of growing up in their biological family, knowing their siblings and their culture?&rsquo;


The child leaps the divide &ndash; giving you their heart, their trust, their love. ...  We could be cynical, and say that it helps the system justify the movement of children back to biological parents.   You start by using language that maintains a distance between child and new family.


...There is nothing in that story to reassure any carer that the child they have parented will be with them until the child is able make a decision about their future.


Until prospective carers hear language from the media and the &lsquo;system&rsquo; that recognises the emotional bond we &lsquo;carers&rsquo; create with these children, it will continue to be difficult to attract quality carers.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>The Commission Outcomes</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>agency</category><category>general</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2008-11-27T11:32:08+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0573e9769f26619e6406633a74005441-48.php#unique-entry-id-48</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0573e9769f26619e6406633a74005441-48.php#unique-entry-id-48</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Dear Justice Wood, Premier Rees, Minister Burney and all those who will be working through Justice Wood&rsquo;s recommendations,


It was big commission wasn&rsquo;t it?   111 recommendations, and a significant part of those is in relation to moving responsibility for sheltering children at risk to the private sector.


Funnily enough, ask any business person and they will tell you that one of the greatest challenges in outsourcing a service is governance &ndash; who monitors the system to make sure it works as intended - and accountability.   You can&rsquo;t outsource accountability.   So what structure will still be in place in government?   I suppose that&rsquo;s all to be worked out yet.


Our experience has also shown us a very great difference between DOCS workers and private agency workers &ndash; in skill, in maturity, in experience.   So the uplift required for many agencies will be huge.   But you knew that, didn&rsquo;t you?   And the officers from those agencies who presented to the commission were honest and upfront about how well they functioned, and what it would take to enable their agencies to effectively take over from DOCS. 

...We&rsquo;d like to recommend that one of the toolsets you implement, to maintain standards across this distributed agency group, and to give us carers a clearer picture of what we are entitled to expect, are service levels.   They won&rsquo;t solve all the problems but they will provide some clarity.   You see, agencies can get pretty autocratic about how they do things, their policies and their processes.   They can push an agenda relentlessly.   If you are a carer with an opinion and push hard enough back they can even get a bit narky.   But you knew that, didn&rsquo;t you?


...It&rsquo;s a shame that more of the submissions to the Commission were not made public.   Then I think we&rsquo;d all have a better understanding of all the issues we are dealing with.   It&rsquo;s not that we don&rsquo;t trust you, but at present, having heard the agency and DOCS submissions, we&rsquo;re just feeling a bit one-sided. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>&#x27;I am a foster child&#x27;</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>policy</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>procedure</category><category>identity</category><dc:date>2008-11-26T22:17:18+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/09c07dbc107d55c074f7758892a37538-47.php#unique-entry-id-47</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/09c07dbc107d55c074f7758892a37538-47.php#unique-entry-id-47</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[So no child in care is ever, ever described to anyone as a foster child or a child in care. ...  Generally only those who need to know are told their status.   And for anyone who needs to know (doctor, teacher), the basic facts are sufficient and explain all that needs to be said. 


Foster care is the child&rsquo;s legal status. 

...We sometimes used to feel like the system gives these children a secret stamp &ndash; only visible to it &ndash; that said &lsquo;Child in Care&rsquo;. ...  This feeling wasn&rsquo;t helped by the workers&rsquo; frequent response, when we disagreed about a particular action, that &lsquo;this is what we do for all our children in care&rsquo;. ...  We knew enough other carers to know that wasn&rsquo;t true.


...We have heard of children in out of home care having the term &lsquo;foster child&rsquo; flung at them in the school playground in a derisory way. 


Come to think of it, maybe the term &lsquo;foster care&rsquo; has had its day. 

...	1	to promote the growth or development of; further; encourage, to foster new ideas


	2	to bring up, raise, or rear as a foster child


...	4	British, to place (a child) in a foster home


We like number 3 &ndash; to care for or cherish.


We made a commitment to bring a child into our family to show them what it means to be cherished.    Often they won&rsquo;t have had that before.   Make no mistake &ndash; often they have been the centre of attention, and had lots of people spending lots of time reviewing what&rsquo;s best for them. ...  It&rsquo;s the strength of that individual care that makes a difference to their lives. 


We can show children what constant, unchanging love looks like, in all its shapes and colours and circumstances.   We can show them how to receive it and give it. 

...A new family is caring for this child. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Access</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>access</category><category>placement</category><category>procedure</category><dc:date>2008-11-17T01:13:13+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/02513aaff3c198baed9774c27dd3b745-46.php#unique-entry-id-46</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/02513aaff3c198baed9774c27dd3b745-46.php#unique-entry-id-46</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Reading our posts, you might suspect that all is sorted in our world.   You might not, but in case you do&hellip;.   We still have our days.


The week after access with birth family can be a challenge. 


You might find that something is triggered in your child in care after visits.   It might be hard to deal with because it comes from deep inside.   The child may not understand it, and as you weren&rsquo;t there in those early days you may have little chance of unpicking it. 


We&rsquo;ve seen children regress in that post access week.   Behaviours will surface that belong to a younger child.   Things that they normally take in their stride become major issues. 


How do we deal?   We don&rsquo;t play. ...  We continue with our routines and normal practices.   When a child is older, we might give them a look, we might even make a comment.   If the child can handle it start the conversation with them about how they are feeling after seeing birth family.


Our single minded trudge through that post-access week (for some years now), is always important to the child, make no mistake.   In a life that is probably marked by early change*, they need to learn that there is no change now as a result of seeing birth family.   That there is no change with their new foster family.   That&rsquo;s a big step forward. 


...* The kind of change we are referring to is where a child is moved, frequently, from short term carer to short term carer.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>&#x27;I&#x27;ve been instructed to...&#x27;</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>procedure</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>agency</category><category>roles</category><dc:date>2008-10-31T22:42:04+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1d750bfc517547c5df9501d393403514-45.php#unique-entry-id-45</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1d750bfc517547c5df9501d393403514-45.php#unique-entry-id-45</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[In our last post we were being very reasonable about how one might &lsquo;fix&rsquo; DOCs. 


...It&rsquo;s the &lsquo;I&rsquo;ve been instructed to&rsquo; message. 


You might get it by email &ndash; or if you are lucky (and we have been) you might even get it in person. 

...Even when a first conversation might be a collaborative discussion, there will come a point where a worker will pull rank.   You&rsquo;ll be told to just do it.   They might even move it up the food chain and state &lsquo;I&rsquo;ve been instructed to&hellip;&rsquo;. 

...If we were trying to address all the problems, then we&rsquo;d acknowledge that there are stubborn, careless, less than satisfactory carers out there who would try the patience of a saint (and probably break the heart of one sometimes) and need to be told what to do. 


But we&rsquo;re not trying to address all the problems.   And we don&rsquo;t need to be told what to do.


In business using the &lsquo;I&rsquo;ve been instructed to&rsquo; defence is called abrogating responsibility, and any manager worth their salary won&rsquo;t let a team member get away with it. 

...Let us tell you the sub-text that sits behind that request. 

...	&bull;	I&rsquo;m genuinely too busy to negotiate any solution with these people.


...	&bull;	You (carer) have a job to do.


	&bull;	I&rsquo;m obeying a court order for my case, there is no room in it to accommodate your (carer) needs.


	&bull;	Your (carer) reason for not being able to accommodate this request is irrelevant.


...	&bull;	I&rsquo;m in charge &ndash; just do as you (carer) are told.


As exceptional carers we take issue with all of those and we don&rsquo;t accept any of them.   We get to have a say in what is best for the child.   When capable committed carers are involved who obviously care for the child and are providing excellent care, then there should be no assumptions made for the child. 

...So don&rsquo;t serve up the &lsquo;I&rsquo;ve been instructed to&hellip;&rsquo; advice to us. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Can we &#x27;fix&#x27; DOCs?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>placement</category><category>policy</category><dc:date>2008-10-22T22:38:47+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ca107c9a630af087e4ef6ad82fc281f6-43.php#unique-entry-id-43</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/ca107c9a630af087e4ef6ad82fc281f6-43.php#unique-entry-id-43</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Rise in deaths of 'at risk' children (The Australian, Caroline Overington | October 16, 2008).


&lsquo;MORE than 150 children who died in NSW last year came from families that were known to the Department of Community Services.   The figure, a quarter of all child deaths in the state, represents a 40 per cent increase on the previous year in the number of so-called "reviewable" deaths.&rsquo;


...But you can&rsquo;t fix a problem at the macro level. 

...To solve problems, you need to be very specific about the problems.   You need to be honest and open about what causes them. ...  But you need to understand how fixing the problem in the middle will impact all the others surrounding it.   It is essential that everyone who plays a role agrees on what the problems are and wants to solve them. 


So if more children &lsquo;at risk&rsquo; died in 2008 than in the previous year, why? 


Let&rsquo;s state the obvious - children were left in a home environment that was dangerous to their life or to their health.   The system that is charged with making decisions about what is best for them didn&rsquo;t act, couldn&rsquo;t act, couldn&rsquo;t monitor, or simply couldn&rsquo;t solve the problems.


...	&bull;	At what point does the child&rsquo;s right to a safe, healthy, stable life become more important then staying with their birth parents? 

...	&bull;	What is the risk to the child and its development if the &lsquo;recovery or rehabilitation&rsquo; of a birth parent is slow or troubled by setbacks?   Will the child&rsquo;s life and development be compromised in either the short or the long term by not moving them?


	&bull;	Do workers feel they have the autonomy to make a call regarding the child&rsquo;s circumstances? 

...	&bull;	What if the headline we were reading reported an increase in the number of children removed from their birth families? 

...	&bull;	What resources are available to the birth parents to help them cope with life, family and future? 

...	&bull;	Is a system in place that can monitor birth parents&rsquo; progress and keep watch on the health and safety of the child? ...  If not, what is the risk to the child?


...Let&rsquo;s hope that at the first level there has been a very honest assessment of what the problems are that need to be solved. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Guarantees in foster care?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>policy</category><category>roles</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2008-10-09T23:51:24+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/9075f8bf3cc91ed7c6118fa0951c48d6-42.php#unique-entry-id-42</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/9075f8bf3cc91ed7c6118fa0951c48d6-42.php#unique-entry-id-42</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[An article in The Australian (Thursday Oct 2, 2008) &lsquo;Potential carers put off fostering&rsquo; (Overington and Trup) reviewed some of the confidential submissions to the Wood Royal Commission. 

...The first paragraph states &lsquo;Tens of thousands of affluent, educated and responsible couples are ready to take the nation&rsquo;s abused and neglected children into their care, if only they could be guaranteed that the children would be allowed to stay&rsquo;.


...There are tens of thousands of couples that might have missed out on what may be the most rewarding journey of their life?   And, more importantly, there are thousands of children who might have found a life with wonderful parents?


Will better education and communication change the perspective of some of those potential carers?   Maybe the &lsquo;system&rsquo; needs to make a call earlier for some children and place them in a &lsquo;permanent&rsquo; home as soon as possible? 


...The fact is, you don&rsquo;t get many guarantees with foster care. 


These children are not adopted &ndash; you don&rsquo;t get to take them in and be left alone.   You deal with birth families and workers, with the legal construct of fostering. 

...Is there a long-term order for the child?   Would you be taking them on long-term? 

...Is a birth parent working towards getting the children back in a realistic and meaningful way? 


...Is the placement long term and will the agency support that? 


So to all those prospective foster parents - you want guarantees the child is with you to stay?   Then get in there and fight for them.   Take them in, care for them, love them, bond with them, become their parent.   Then you won&rsquo;t need guarantees, you&rsquo;ll make them.   You&rsquo;ll face anyone who thinks moving this child might be an option with steely eyed determination. ...  And for the first time in their lives, these children have an adult to advocate for them. 

...You have to decide whether you are fostering for you, or for them?
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Do agencies keep carer lists up to date?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>procedure</category><category>placement</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2008-09-29T22:53:45+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/6a33444b7b21a3012f4bbae7138abaa7-41.php#unique-entry-id-41</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/6a33444b7b21a3012f4bbae7138abaa7-41.php#unique-entry-id-41</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We had a phone call recently.   A very pleasant young person identified herself as a new case worker with a particular private agency.


We were invited to a social event at the agency, despite the fact that it is a fair while since we&rsquo;ve had any dealings with that agency. 


When we mentioned this, the worker laughed and advised that she must have had an &lsquo;old&rsquo; list.


We were surprised. 


Does the agency maintain a &lsquo;current&rsquo; list of carers?   How often is that updated?   Who is accountable for updating it?    Are files in the agency marked &lsquo;current&rsquo; and &lsquo;past&rsquo;?   How do they manage privacy for &lsquo;closed&rsquo; files that they no longer have any accountability for?   Can any new worker access any closed file? 


...But we are not inclined to give this agency the benefit of the doubt.   It is, sadly, representative of the lack of attention to detail from them. 


...We have been known to take a service provider to task for poor service, failure to follow through, or sloppy work.   Fine when we are battling over our mobile bill. 


But we expect better.   We are dealing with a person.   How will a child in care feel, many years on, when they read the case conference notes and see the errors?   These children are entitled to expect every adult who has been given a role in their life by &lsquo;the system&rsquo; to take the utmost care &ndash; of them, of their information, of their feelings. 


Poor form indeed.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Questions to ask a prospective foster agency</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>policy</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>roles</category><category>agency</category><category>access</category><dc:date>2008-09-24T00:17:47+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/db0b9abfd7409755f13b9d8efe4e7e28-40.php#unique-entry-id-40</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/db0b9abfd7409755f13b9d8efe4e7e28-40.php#unique-entry-id-40</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Workers creating a false expectation for birth parents about the placement, and the long term possibilities for the child. ...  Workers insisting on a designated &lsquo;role&rsquo; in the foster child&rsquo;s life without consideration of the carers&rsquo; wishes. ...  Lack of negotiation between all parties in creating a case plan for the child. 


Of course these are one sided, and many workers could give you a list of carer behaviours that defy belief.   But our aim here is to facilitate successful placements for the children, and informed carers are key to that.


...Like any relationship, everyone expects the best, but it&rsquo;s the detail and the mismatched expectations that cause the problems.  


...	1	What is the agency&rsquo;s policy in relation to birth family contact? ...  Does the agency want to re-establish a relationship between child and birth parent?   Or is the agency aiming to maintain contact between child and birth family? 


	2	What is the agency&rsquo;s policy in relation to the foster child&rsquo;s relationship with their birth family? ...  What are the policies in relation to what the child should call birth and foster parents? 

...	3	What is the agency&rsquo;s schedule for visits and follow up (phone, email) with carers? 

...[Service levels are a business concept where the standard of service and the approach are set out and guaranteed. 

...How long is the foster child likely to have a relationship with one worker for? 

...How much input will the carer have in developing the case plan for the child? 


	7	Who can carers talk to if they are unhappy with a worker&rsquo;s approach, performance or policies? 

...	8	Does the agency recognise that at some point the carer has the most up to date knowledge of the child? 

...	9	At what age does the agency recognise the child&rsquo;s ability to state what they want?


	10	What is the agency&rsquo;s policy in relation to adoption by the foster family?   Will it consider it on its merits or is the agency opposed to it in principal? ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Don&#x27;t look now: your relationship is not working</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>policy</category><category>procedure</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2008-09-18T11:43:10+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/713b0627ae1590d600b636266876055f-39.php#unique-entry-id-39</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/713b0627ae1590d600b636266876055f-39.php#unique-entry-id-39</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We had a great conversation recently with our social worker. 

...We exchanged views with the worker on a couple of issues.   We listened to them, they listened to us, and we agreed on an approach that we were both happy with.   Importantly, we both agreed that the child&rsquo;s requirements were the most important ones. 

...After several harmonious years, we were assigned a new worker who wanted to change the world, change our lives, and start &lsquo;all over again&rsquo;. ...  We outlined what part of the proposed changes we couldn't accommodate. ...  The agency and its workers had no room for a differing point of view. 


...We can&rsquo;t advise specifically, but here&rsquo;s what we&rsquo;ve seen.


Often a carer will try to put up with it because they are concerned that the child in care might become caught in the middle.   Or they are concerned that any rising tension in dealing with a worker may flow over to the child.   Often a carer, faced daily with numerous challenges in caring for the child, will simply roll with it.   Too often a carer has no point of reference (or no time to chase a point of reference) to say &lsquo;Is this really acceptable?&rsquo;


The risk of going with it is that &lsquo;bad situations&rsquo; don&rsquo;t hold steady. ...  New issues give rise to new levels of conflict and irritation that build.


...Can you roll with it and manage around it?   Can you stay calm and detached after contact with the worker?   Can you manage the worker&rsquo;s approach (or the agency&rsquo;s policies) and still be happy with the outcome for your foster child?


If the answer to any of those is no, we&rsquo;d suggest you act. ...  Give it a go and work through suggested actions to resolve it.   But if it still doesn&rsquo;t work, don&rsquo;t be afraid to take it higher. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Which agency should I foster with?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>training</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2008-08-31T23:10:06+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7cf86084853c258029055c7950df1d87-38.php#unique-entry-id-38</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/7cf86084853c258029055c7950df1d87-38.php#unique-entry-id-38</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[I&rsquo;m really interested in fostering, but I&rsquo;m not sure which agency, public or private, I should go through. 

...This came into focus when we caught up with a friend last weekend, who reminded us that she was interested in long term fostering, and wanted our advice on where to start. 


...When you have a child in care, one of the most important aspects of that placement is a real &lsquo;meeting of the minds&rsquo; between carer and agency. ...  The last thing you need is conflict or frustration with the agency that monitors and supports you. 


&lsquo;Meeting of the minds&rsquo; is actually a legal concept that underpins contract law, but we&rsquo;ve found it works well in business and life. 

...	&bull;	An &lsquo;aligned&rsquo; vision of what is best for the child.   Put simply, you all agree on the basics - of care, access, support etc. 


	&bull;	A fair and open process of deciding what is best for the child. ...  The timeframe varies but most long term carers become the people who know the child best. ...  Put our &lsquo;on the ground&rsquo; experience with an experienced, thoughtful, objective social worker, provide willingness to discuss an issue and decide an approach together, and the results can be constructive.


...This is not uncommon in their birth family circumstances, but surprisingly can also occur in short term placements, where the focus might be on their physical needs. ...  For example, the policy that &lsquo;Our approach is that children in care call their birth parent &ldquo;X&rdquo; &lsquo; becomes &lsquo;While generally our policy is that children in care call their birth parent &ldquo;X&rdquo;, in Y&rsquo;s case we agree that&hellip;.&rsquo;


...Carers need to be able to respect the social worker assigned to their case, and workers need to respect the capabilities and experience of the carers.   All parties need to demonstrate this &ndash; in what they say, how they listen to each other.


...Depending on the needs of your child, you may call on the agency for support. ...  And on the other hand, they shouldn&rsquo;t be in your ear every week with demands and actions and policies and plans. 

...More importantly, a &lsquo;good&rsquo; placement, and the carers&rsquo; part in that, should go to the carers&rsquo; credibility.   If the child is thriving, learning, growing, loving and happy do you think we might just know what we are doing? 


So, how do you know when the relationship with the agency is not good? ...  And we will also have a go at providing our friend with the list of questions she should ask the agencies before she fosters. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Stop - and reflect</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>placement</category><category>behaviour</category><dc:date>2008-08-17T21:50:31+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/865a46c5434cde30f804835ad776b27e-35.php#unique-entry-id-35</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/865a46c5434cde30f804835ad776b27e-35.php#unique-entry-id-35</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[One thing we&rsquo;ve learned to do is stop, and reflect. 


Think through where you have been, and where you&rsquo;ve come to.   Look at the child with clear eyes and see what you&rsquo;ve achieved.   There will always be challenges &ndash; have a chat with any other mother or father of a similarly aged child and you will find they deal with many of the same issues. 


The challenge is that you may have a few extra.   They will range in severity.   At the lower end of the scale you will find yourself wondering how much of the behaviour is due to the child&rsquo;s past, and how much of it simple six year old passion.   There will come a point where you consider that the child has lived with you long enough to treat the behaviour as simple six year old passion.   It&rsquo;s a wonderful day when you all reach that point.


At the other end you&rsquo;ll wonder how to ever manage this child&rsquo;s behaviour.   Faced with an endless challenge, stop and reflect.   You will find some milestones along the way that help you take a breath, feel some satisfaction in what you have all achieved, and soldier on. 


And just occasionally, we hope you feel real joy in what you are doing.   Because we do, and it&rsquo;s the best feeling in the world.


While we have much to be happy about in respect of the child&rsquo;s progress on all fronts, best of all is our relationship.   While Happy Camper&rsquo;s cheeky streak may drive us mad, we are quite delighted at the confidence and intelligence that fuels it.   We let her test the boundary, we explain the limits, we let her find them, we pull her firmly into line every so often, then we ease off. 

...So what underpins it all is love.   When you hold this child in your arms and feel your heart turn over, you stop, and reflect.   The child will know that when they reach for you they will find love. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>When do we connect the dots .................?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>procedure</category><category>general</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2008-07-25T22:51:28+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0ca4638bcc341f20555d9bcad221c0d5-34.php#unique-entry-id-34</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0ca4638bcc341f20555d9bcad221c0d5-34.php#unique-entry-id-34</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[EssentialMum offloaded a car last year.   She filled out her paperwork for the RTA transferring registration.


So - stay with me here - how interesting to receive an E-Toll statement this week, containing recent toll charges for the offloaded vehicle. 

...The E-Toll statement has the RTA logo on the top left corner, as well as the Roads and Traffic Authority business name and ABN (Australian Business Number).   The links to the web for further information take the user to the RTA site.   One could assume they were part of the RTA in fact. 

...EssentialMum rang the Operations Centre, and politely enquired as to why charges were still coming through for the offloaded car.   The very polite and helpful staffer told us that the charges occurred when a tag didn&rsquo;t work &ndash; so they would confirm the car registration and manually charge whichever E-Toll account had that car rego listed on it. 


So one part of the RTA that processes a transfer in registration of a vehicle has no way of informing another part of the RTA of the change in ownership.   In this age of connectivity, you&rsquo;ve got to be kidding!


It&rsquo;s a good day when we learn something &ndash; even if it is how to manage our E-Toll account.   But it struck a chord with us. 


This is what child welfare services struggle with. 


No one joins the dots, and in those circumstances it is often a child&rsquo;s life at risk, not a few dollars on a toll charge.   In child welfare it is not just within an organisation, but across all parties charged with some responsibility for children&rsquo;s welfare and safety. 


How hard could it be to create a networked database, accessible by all required parties, to track case plans, incidents, issues and care plans for children at risk?   Of course there are privacy issues.   Corporations have been managing customer privacy issues for years. 


Can you imagine the information flow if a case worker, a doctor, a teacher, a police officer, a community health worker, a foster parent, even a birth parent could communicate online? ...  One can only dream.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Children don&#x2019;t go into limbo while the adults sort themselves out</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>general</category><category>placement</category><category>health</category><dc:date>2008-07-07T01:07:33+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/96bea1de2da7b33e7010bc2681ac2bf2-33.php#unique-entry-id-33</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/96bea1de2da7b33e7010bc2681ac2bf2-33.php#unique-entry-id-33</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[(If you click through don't be surprised to find some fairly blunt posts and comments on all manner of subjects). 


The person who submitted the question &ndash; which was whether she should notify the authorities about her sister&rsquo;s home situation - outlined what is essentially a scenario of children at risk, and asked for advice. 

...Given what is reported on the news most weeks that's surprising, but there you go.   Many thought a good home clean-up/talking to/scare for mother was needed.   Most of those missed the complexity of the situation and mother&rsquo;s state of mental health and, we think, the reality that we are dealing with people here. 

...The piece the readers had the least information on was what the family had done or was doing.   There were a number of comments about what the family should do in such circumstances. 

...While Kate recommended an initial approach to find out options, and a contributor pointed out that there is quite a process that the authorities follow before any decisions are made, many contributors put notifying the authorities as a last resort. 


We can understand why many people assume the worst &ndash; of the system and the authorities.   We can see why people feel that once they launch this juggernaut they will have no input and no control.   A systematic approach, by its very nature, often works to exclude those who don&rsquo;t understand it, or don&rsquo;t have the skills the system requires to deal with it. 


We have argued with social workers and stood our ground when we have a different view of what&rsquo;s proposed for a child in care.   Some workers made it clear that they thought we were being uncooperative because we dared to disagree with them.   We believe we were doing our job and treating our child like the individual they are. 

...What the worker had conveniently forgotten was that she advocated for the child within the well prescribed, bog standard framework of the agency. ...  Funnily enough, some of that bog standard framework was in conflict with DOCS' approach. 


...There&rsquo;s a point where the child&rsquo;s needs outweigh those of the birth parent.   Many of the posts on Kate de Brito&rsquo;s blog advocated assistance for the mother. ...  But make sure the children are OK while that process is going on. 


Because children don&rsquo;t go into limbo while the adults sort themselves out.
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>We have a new dog and we don&#x2019;t know anything about her</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>placement</category><category>procedure</category><category>EssentialMum</category><category>life story</category><category>identity</category><dc:date>2008-07-01T20:37:11+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0ab98eac59c92cec7d26d502a11eb8f6-31.php#unique-entry-id-31</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/0ab98eac59c92cec7d26d502a11eb8f6-31.php#unique-entry-id-31</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Some deserve to live longer than they do, given how loving, and loyal, and friendly, and funny they are.   If you are going to be a dog owner for life then you have to learn say farewell to old friends and welcome new ones.


...She's two - while we love puppies there are always some lovely older dogs looking for a home.   Our male dog came to us at 14 months, bonded beautifully and has been a loving pal for 8 years now. 


...	&bull;	We had no information about her previous family, other than that she&rsquo;d been used 	to children.


	&bull;	We had no detail about her day-to-day life, her habits, and her routines.


	&bull;	We didn&rsquo;t know what food she liked, what treats were special.


...	&bull;	We had no understanding of her experiences &ndash; what she was used to, what she handled well, what she was unsettled by.


We had no expectation of the vets who boarded her for any of this information - they had all her vaccination and registration details and that's all we could expect.   Our friend did a great job telling us the pup was available and knew nothing more. 


So we&rsquo;ve developed our understanding of this little dog over the last months. 

...You know where we are going with this one ... don't you?


So how 'disappointing' (you can insert your own adjective here depending on your viewpoint) to tell you that the experience was pretty much the same with Happy Camper.   Despite all the networks and information amassed on these children and their families and their circumstances, we knew next to nothing when she came.   We had three visits with the previous carers as part of the handover and asked as many questions as we could in the allotted time, but how do you cover a child's life in a couple of hours? 


...	&bull;	You have the barest detail on the child&rsquo;s day to day routine.


...We&rsquo;ve seen short term carers view clothes as a communal resource - kept for the next child they care for. 


...You don't waste time, at that point, making an issue of it. 


...You build the child&rsquo;s life again from the ground up, and as they get older you increase the information about their family and her past. 


But it would be good if all those who work with us, care for us and help us, remember that often we have to dive in, terrain unknown, and sort it out as we go along. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>&#x27;Why would you want to become a foster carer?&#x27;</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>Dorothy</category><category>general</category><dc:date>2008-06-24T11:46:49+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/5048dd2f3b0893203338ddc1cd1d54c6-30.php#unique-entry-id-30</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/5048dd2f3b0893203338ddc1cd1d54c6-30.php#unique-entry-id-30</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[As I continue down my journey of learning and thinking (and wondering whether foster care is the right thing for me) the most common reaction I am confronted with is &ldquo;why would you want to do that?&rdquo;.  


Somehow my life has become public property and everyone is free to give their opinion on my decision to become a foster carer. 


There&rsquo;re some who have said 'surely life&rsquo;s not that bad'.    Well, no, it&rsquo;s good, really good, and that&rsquo;s why I want to share it with a child who is not so fortunate. 


Some have said, 'Don&rsquo;t worry you&rsquo;ll meet someone eventually'.  

...Others have said 'Aha, that&rsquo;s why you moved to the suburbs and bought a bigger house'.    To be perfectly honest, there&rsquo;s an element of truth in that &ndash; maybe I have created space for a family I don&rsquo;t yet have.    But then, life experience tells me there&rsquo;s something to be said for stepping out in faith and waiting for circumstances to move in your direction. 


The more complete response is that I believe I have something to give and I think that not only is this an opportunity for me to give something back and contribute in a very practical way, but fostering will also be an opportunity for me to grow and enrich my life.    Plus I do love a challenge - and this will be the biggest challenge I have ever faced. 


So what is it that causes this range of responses in people &ndash; people I know really well and people I don&rsquo;t know at all?


...Foster care is a new concept for a lot of people and is most likely something they&rsquo;ve never considered.    They can&rsquo;t bring themselves to imagine why anyone would want to foster. 


There&rsquo;s an old adage &ndash; seek first to understand, then to be understood.    Ask people what they find so intriguing or confronting about fostering. 

...Unless you know someone who fosters, it&rsquo;s difficult to even start to appreciate what it&rsquo;s all about.    While I knew friends at school whose families did short term foster care, I didn&rsquo;t really know anything about fostering until my cousin decided to foster.    And lots of people I&rsquo;ve met on my journey thus far found out about fostering through friends. 


Foster care may not be well understood, but the need is there and foster care is going on all around us through the efforts of many generous families and people who care.    And in the end that&rsquo;s the most important ingredient &ndash; to care!
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Getting access right</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>access</category><category>procedure</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2008-06-16T22:07:15+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/928883b1294390eb380ea934670ec3f9-29.php#unique-entry-id-29</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/928883b1294390eb380ea934670ec3f9-29.php#unique-entry-id-29</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[With school holidays just around the corner, our thoughts and plans, now that Happy Camper is at school, turn to access.


Happy Camper enjoys seeing birth family members.   Now Happy Camper is much more articulate it is easier to discuss how she feels about the visits and what she likes. 


It can be more difficult when children in care are tiny.   If their behaviour after a visit shows how deep the impact of the visit was for them, it is even tougher when you can&rsquo;t discuss it with them. 


Access covers so many different circumstances that 'what works' will be vastly different for us all.   So here are some things we&rsquo;ve learned:


Align the venue or activity with your foster child's natural inclination.   If they are physical, get outdoors.    It sounds really obvious, but it's amazing how you can end up at a venue that suits no one.   We&rsquo;ve spent visits at a council library.   Birth family members were completely at sea with the concept of interacting with a child through reading, our active child was constrained by the environment (don't run, be quiet). 


Now we meet at a park, or a pool, with lots of space and activities that allow a child to let off steam.   If it&rsquo;s a more natural environment for the child then birth family will see the real child - tears when something doesn't go right, physical courage that sees them climb to the top of the monkey bars.   Birth families need to know the real child, and you can help them here.


We've seen an improvement in how our small one deals with access as a result and the whole effect is much more natural. 


So have a say.   Offer your view to the social workers about access.   You know the child best. 


Posted by EssentialMum
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Find the humour</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>life story</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2008-06-11T00:11:52+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1dd033a7a1d45613cade659b72b89cbb-28.php#unique-entry-id-28</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/1dd033a7a1d45613cade659b72b89cbb-28.php#unique-entry-id-28</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Happy Camper has no constraints in telling anyone anything. ...  So we&rsquo;ve learned to take that into account.   It means we are mindful of the level of detail we provide her in relation to some matters.


The current topic is age, and we&rsquo;ve had a bit of fun with this one.   Happy Camper knows exactly how old she is, and tells everyone.   For a long time EssentialMum has fobbed her off in response to any age queries with the answer that EssentialMum is 22. 


...Here&rsquo;s how the conversation went one afternoon after school:


Happy Camper: Mum, how old are you?


...Happy Camper: I know, but how old?


...Happy Camper: My teacher thinks you might be a bit older than that.


...And later still, we shared that laughter with her teacher. 


So, a couple of reminders worth noting for us:


...You&rsquo;ll need it, so make sure you take time to treasure the funny things. ...  They become a great part of life story work &ndash; we have a file called &lsquo;Laughter&rsquo; which contains all the funny comments and incidents that have given us a laugh along the way.   They also provide us with some reminders for the &lsquo;when you were little&rsquo; conversations that children love.   And they are sometimes like a small breath of fresh sustaining air when times are tough. 


Build the child&rsquo;s story according to the child&rsquo;s age. 


A wise worker told us that the explanation to a child in care of their birth and childhood was one that would develop and deepen over time &ndash; as they grow the level of detail and explanation would increase. ...  Children are often, surprisingly, happy with the basics. 


So we bow to the inevitable and know that very soon, Happy Camper will learn exactly how old EssentialMum is. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Why become a foster carer?</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>general</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2008-06-07T01:12:41+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/b96c0a8c8c490487efed42d5a3fed319-27.php#unique-entry-id-27</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/b96c0a8c8c490487efed42d5a3fed319-27.php#unique-entry-id-27</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Dorothy is, with encouragement from her support network, baring her soul on this journey.   It&rsquo;s a privilege to read her very honest thoughts.   As there are so many different types of care, we can&rsquo;t even begin to catalogue them. 


We wanted to make a difference at the most personal level.   Donating to charities is important; the well-structured ones do wonderful work.   But there had to be something more personal, which took more of our time, our skill and our commitment. 


...Working full time, it seemed sensible to provide weekend care for a little one and help the existing parent-child relationship along.   We had some good times, and both mother and babe seemed to benefit from the contact. 


But as we dropped the little babe back each time, the thought that grew was how we could make a difference that stuck?   Sustenance was good &ndash; in this instance it helped a mum maintain her relationship with her babies. 

...It seemed that long term, full time care was the answer.


...We talk lots and at length but we also really like to DO. 


To us the ultimate contribution was changing a child&rsquo;s life.   We could help one little person work his or her way through the circumstances of their birth and family, to be a happy, healthy, confident &ndash; insert all adjectives here &ndash; member of the world.   We might be able to set this child on a path of self-discovery and achievement, secure in the knowledge that they are loved and treasured. 

...EssentialMum has a long family history of experience in foster care, so the concept of fostering was known and understood.   All that was good about it and frankly, all that was bad too. ...  So all the starry eyed aspirations had a firm grounding in reality.   That&rsquo;s why we thought of fostering rather than adoption. 

...Happy Camper is now such a part of our lives that we don&rsquo;t think of her in any other terms than permanent presence. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Becoming a foster carer - Dorothy&#x27;s journey</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>Dorothy</category><category>training</category><category>procedure</category><category>agency</category><dc:date>2008-06-05T00:40:22+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/c2871fd08227e282454cb48750c6f2dd-26.php#unique-entry-id-26</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/c2871fd08227e282454cb48750c6f2dd-26.php#unique-entry-id-26</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[My name is Dorothy and I&rsquo;m about to launch into the biggest adventure of my life.  


...Well, to cut a long story short, I was having a really bad time at work &ndash; really bad.    A disagreement with my boss set me back on my heels and got me wondering what I was doing with my life.  ...  I&rsquo;d worked for the same company for 7 years and was now a successful executive. ...  I had a great life, so why did it all seem so empty?    Having worked so hard for so long, what I was doing it all for? 


...I&rsquo;d always known about fostercare, but never really thought seriously about it.  

...So after a good deal of self analysis and research and many conversations with my cousin, I called DOCS.    I could have gone with an agency but found that DOCS were really responsive and easy to deal with.  


So here I am about to undertake my fostercarer training and writing 'my story'.   It&rsquo;s an odd experience to revisit your life in five year increments from birth to your current age.    A time to reflect on all the things that make you who you are today.  


It&rsquo;s been invaluable to be able to talk to my cousin about her experiences and the challenges and joys.    Her foster child is a delight and it&rsquo;s been a privilege to watch the development from a little person at risk into a robust, funny, energetic child who is self confident and nurtured and has a wonderful full life. 


My cousin&rsquo;s life is that much richer for the experience and it is this, more than anything else, that inspired me to start my journey.


I still have questions and doubts and wonder how I&rsquo;m going to do it all.    But I am secure in the knowledge that I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends who support me in this adventure and will be there when I need advice or help or just need to talk.


It&rsquo;s a huge decision, to turn your life upside down and share it with someone new.   To forego much of your personal freedom and defer to the needs and wants of a child who will have been through more than any child should. 


But then I am incredibly fortunate and have the chance to make a real difference. ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>&#x27;This is what you signed up for&#x27;</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>policy</category><category>procedure</category><category>roles</category><dc:date>2008-06-02T22:10:42+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e0a65f4f7195f4327a73744bd367e1f6-25.php#unique-entry-id-25</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/e0a65f4f7195f4327a73744bd367e1f6-25.php#unique-entry-id-25</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[We heard those words from a private agency social worker, justifying why a number of well-established routines needed to change, two years into the placement. 


...She still showed a reaction to access visits with birth family, and so every effort was made to normalize those visits for her. 

...	&bull;	A new schedule for far more frequent social worker visits, on a day that suited the social worker but not the foster family.


	&bull;	A new approach for visits between Happy Camper and her birth family that excluded EssentialMum.


	&bull;	A more 'significant' role for social worker in Happy Camper's life. 


...So we did what we should do and challenged the proposals.   We can and do roll with lots of punches, but when Happy Camper is affected by the outcome, we push back. 


We explained politely that we didn&rsquo;t see why there was a need for such a change to the routine, when the existing one served Happy Camper well. 


And those words came back to us with quite a deal of frustration from the worker. 


...So what did we sign up for?   It was obvious that in this circumstance the social worker&rsquo;s view of it and ours were vastly different.


Did we sign up to care for this child as if she were our own? 

...Did we sign up to let social workers dictate, without discussion, how things should be done for this child? 

...In our family, we acknowledge the professional expertise of many people we deal with (we actually have quite a bit of professional expertise ourselves so we respect it in others). ...  Bringing our view of what's right and appropriate for this child (living with her means we actually know her REALLY WELL now) is called responsibility. 


...This same agency cheerfully gave us a copy of Mary Ann Goodearle's book Everything but the Kids - A Guide to Foster Parenting (for full publishing details see the Resources Tab).   One chapter specifically talks about foster parents demanding a seat at the table and taking responsibility for decisions regarding the child, not merely updating a social worker on how the child is reacting and expecting the social worker to make the decision. 


Our experience is that, like corporates and firms and government departments, some agencies and workers may talk the talk.   But they will find foster parents confronting when they offer an opinion and are prepared to suggest a course of action. ...  How you work through that, and whether in fact it can be resolved, is another issue. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Columnist bites back</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>EssentialMum</category><category>general</category><dc:date>2008-05-27T23:05:59+10:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/74e1f98914400d7b9ee08ab8f421481f-23.php#unique-entry-id-23</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/74e1f98914400d7b9ee08ab8f421481f-23.php#unique-entry-id-23</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[A Sunday paper columnist recently took on all the city dog owners and their 'surrogate children' (her description). 

...We're dog people, and so our dogs preceded Happy Camper's arrival.   It helped that when she came to live with us she was not scared of furry four legged creatures, and we are pleased that Happy Camper's life now encompasses animals.   The dogs have played quite a role in the process of her settling into the family, and they continue to help Happy Camper - to laugh, to love, to play, and to care. 


...Ours don&rsquo;t bite, chase children, bark endlessly, or poop or pee where they are not meant to.   They also know who is the boss (and that would be EssentialMum). 


...She has learned how to respect another creature, how to be gentle, how to be superior and wield that superiority gently, how to nurture and care for another living creature, how to take responsibility. 


	&bull;	One huge gentle beastie was Happy Camper&rsquo;s new best friend when she came to live with us.   The dog was patient, gentle, loving and fascinated with Happy Camper.   She took almost any play Happy Camper dished out (under our supervision), and showed Happy Camper what unconditional love looks like. 

...	&bull;	Happy Camper enjoys the wonderful feeling of a dog&rsquo;s coat, a dog&rsquo;s silky ears between her fingers.   She delights in a doggy play bow and a game, tug of war with a toy, and a cuddle with a furry beast.   She&rsquo;s quick to blame a four legged fiend when any unpleasant smell surfaces. 


	&bull;	We have conversations about how puppies come to live in other homes, away from their mums.   For us any analogy for Happy Camper that mirrors her circumstances and opens up the conversation in a casual way is really useful.   Happy Camper is also starting to learn that dogs don't live as long as we do.


...We watch the dogs sniff every tree, we take them to off leash areas and watch them play, and we run and kick a ball and fall over in a heap with them. 

...Happy Camper&rsquo;s life would be poorer without the dogs.   We need to connect to the natural world, and that includes the whiffywoofyscratchingpooping ones in it.   When we were kids we roamed freely with our dogs, usually off leash, and we don&rsquo;t recall bites or fights. 
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Welcome to fostercarer.com.au</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>general</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2008-01-07T16:19:26+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/Welcome.php#unique-entry-id-1</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/Welcome.php#unique-entry-id-1</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Welcome to fostercarer.com.au.   For more information about us and why this site exists, please go to the About Us page.   But we'll provide a short version here.....


We've been involved in foster care, as a family, for 40 years.   Vastly different circumstances, different outcomes, and different experiences.   But we've learned a great deal.


We believe there is a useful conversation to be had between carers and carers, and carers and agencies, independently of the children in your care.   Over time those conversations may well extend to all aspects of being a foster carer.   Many of those conversations happen in person.   We think there is an opportunity in this networked world to carry out some of them online. 


Agencies are called on to place children in a caring and safe environment where their family is unable to provide for them, and act as a conduit between government, the children and their families and foster carers.   Agencies carry a lot of responsibility and are given a lot of authority.   They can either be outstanding in their understanding and support, or add to the foster carer&rsquo;s burden.   We&rsquo;ve experienced both ends of the scale.   We believe that understanding carers&rsquo; experience and sharing that constructively with all parties - to enhance the quality of those interactions - can be of benefit to all concerned.


So how will this work?   We want to share and so will do that through this site.   There is opportunity for you to share as well, either through comments or feedback.   We'd love to hear from you. 


Posted by EssentialMum
]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Conversations</title><dc:creator>Cerenity Pty Ltd</dc:creator><category>general</category><category>EssentialMum</category><dc:date>2008-01-07T16:16:27+11:00</dc:date><link>http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/Conversations.php#unique-entry-id-0</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.fostercarer.com.au/files/Conversations.php#unique-entry-id-0</guid><content:encoded><![CDATA[Here are some questions that have come up along our journey.   Questions we wanted answers to from other carers or some independent experts.


&bull;	What are the options for access and who can be there to support me?


...Should my social worker set the rules or is it by mutual agreement?


&bull;	What do I do if I don&rsquo;t agree with the way things are going?   Do I have a right of recourse or reply?


...&bull;	What happens if I can&rsquo;t attend the agency provided support meetings?


&bull;	What happens when the best interests of my foster child seem at odds with those of the birth family or vice versa?  


&bull;	How do you juggle the needs of DoCS and your social worker, while holding down a full time job?  


...&bull;	Of course my social worker needs to check how things are going, but what is a normal level of interaction and oversight?  


&bull;	Can my broader family and support network help out where needed and who do I need to inform?


&bull;	My foster child is starting school, how do I help them communicate their unique family relationships?


&bull;	Who needs to know about our foster care arrangements - the school, the dentist, my neighbour? 


...&bull;	How do I find out about my foster child&rsquo;s history?    Is there medical or other important information that I need to know and how do I get access to that?


&bull;	What&rsquo;s the best approach when my foster child asks questions about their past? 


&bull;	What records of my foster child&rsquo;s time with me do I need to keep?


&bull;	What are the legal rules and guidelines that I need to know about?


&bull;	What are the changes that have impacted the foster care area, such as the amendments to the Adoption Act? 

...We hope that as the site - and community &ndash; matures, carers will use it to ask questions and seek feedback from others. ]]></content:encoded></item></channel>
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