personal
'Why would you want to become a foster carer?'
As I continue down my journey of learning and thinking (and wondering whether foster care is the right thing for me) the most common reaction I am confronted with is “why would you want to do that?”.
Somehow my life has become public property and everyone is free to give their opinion on my decision to become a foster carer.
There’re some who have said 'surely life’s not that bad'. Well, no, it’s good, really good, and that’s why I want to share it with a child who is not so fortunate.
Some have said, 'Don’t worry you’ll meet someone eventually'. Well I haven’t yet. But that’s not really the point.
Others have said 'Aha, that’s why you moved to the suburbs and bought a bigger house'. To be perfectly honest, there’s an element of truth in that – maybe I have created space for a family I don’t yet have. But then, life experience tells me there’s something to be said for stepping out in faith and waiting for circumstances to move in your direction.
The more complete response is that I believe I have something to give and I think that not only is this an opportunity for me to give something back and contribute in a very practical way, but fostering will also be an opportunity for me to grow and enrich my life. Plus I do love a challenge - and this will be the biggest challenge I have ever faced.
So what is it that causes this range of responses in people – people I know really well and people I don’t know at all?
On reflection, I think they find it threatening. Foster care is a new concept for a lot of people and is most likely something they’ve never considered. They can’t bring themselves to imagine why anyone would want to foster.
There’s an old adage – seek first to understand, then to be understood. Ask people what they find so intriguing or confronting about fostering. You both might just learn something.
Unless you know someone who fosters, it’s difficult to even start to appreciate what it’s all about. While I knew friends at school whose families did short term foster care, I didn’t really know anything about fostering until my cousin decided to foster. And lots of people I’ve met on my journey thus far found out about fostering through friends.
Foster care may not be well understood, but the need is there and foster care is going on all around us through the efforts of many generous families and people who care. And in the end that’s the most important ingredient – to care!
Posted by Dorothy
Somehow my life has become public property and everyone is free to give their opinion on my decision to become a foster carer.
There’re some who have said 'surely life’s not that bad'. Well, no, it’s good, really good, and that’s why I want to share it with a child who is not so fortunate.
Some have said, 'Don’t worry you’ll meet someone eventually'. Well I haven’t yet. But that’s not really the point.
Others have said 'Aha, that’s why you moved to the suburbs and bought a bigger house'. To be perfectly honest, there’s an element of truth in that – maybe I have created space for a family I don’t yet have. But then, life experience tells me there’s something to be said for stepping out in faith and waiting for circumstances to move in your direction.
The more complete response is that I believe I have something to give and I think that not only is this an opportunity for me to give something back and contribute in a very practical way, but fostering will also be an opportunity for me to grow and enrich my life. Plus I do love a challenge - and this will be the biggest challenge I have ever faced.
So what is it that causes this range of responses in people – people I know really well and people I don’t know at all?
On reflection, I think they find it threatening. Foster care is a new concept for a lot of people and is most likely something they’ve never considered. They can’t bring themselves to imagine why anyone would want to foster.
There’s an old adage – seek first to understand, then to be understood. Ask people what they find so intriguing or confronting about fostering. You both might just learn something.
Unless you know someone who fosters, it’s difficult to even start to appreciate what it’s all about. While I knew friends at school whose families did short term foster care, I didn’t really know anything about fostering until my cousin decided to foster. And lots of people I’ve met on my journey thus far found out about fostering through friends.
Foster care may not be well understood, but the need is there and foster care is going on all around us through the efforts of many generous families and people who care. And in the end that’s the most important ingredient – to care!
Posted by Dorothy
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Becoming a foster carer - Dorothy's journey
Hi there. My name is Dorothy and I’m about to launch into the biggest adventure of my life.
I’m about to become a long term fostercarer.
So how did it all come about? Well, to cut a long story short, I was having a really bad time at work – really bad. A disagreement with my boss set me back on my heels and got me wondering what I was doing with my life. I’d studied hard and established a great career. I’d worked for the same company for 7 years and was now a successful executive. I was financially stable and owned my own home. I had a great life, so why did it all seem so empty? Having worked so hard for so long, what I was doing it all for?
My cousin is a longterm fostercarer. She is just awesome. You know, one of those people you aspire to be. I’d always known about fostercare, but never really thought seriously about it. I mean, can a 36 year old single woman be a fostercarer?
So after a good deal of self analysis and research and many conversations with my cousin, I called DOCS. I could have gone with an agency but found that DOCS were really responsive and easy to deal with.
So here I am about to undertake my fostercarer training and writing 'my story'. It’s an odd experience to revisit your life in five year increments from birth to your current age. A time to reflect on all the things that make you who you are today.
It’s been invaluable to be able to talk to my cousin about her experiences and the challenges and joys. Her foster child is a delight and it’s been a privilege to watch the development from a little person at risk into a robust, funny, energetic child who is self confident and nurtured and has a wonderful full life.
My cousin’s life is that much richer for the experience and it is this, more than anything else, that inspired me to start my journey.
I still have questions and doubts and wonder how I’m going to do it all. But I am secure in the knowledge that I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends who support me in this adventure and will be there when I need advice or help or just need to talk.
It’s a huge decision, to turn your life upside down and share it with someone new. To forego much of your personal freedom and defer to the needs and wants of a child who will have been through more than any child should.
But then I am incredibly fortunate and have the chance to make a real difference. And what could be more meaningful than that?
Posted by Dorothy
I’m about to become a long term fostercarer.
So how did it all come about? Well, to cut a long story short, I was having a really bad time at work – really bad. A disagreement with my boss set me back on my heels and got me wondering what I was doing with my life. I’d studied hard and established a great career. I’d worked for the same company for 7 years and was now a successful executive. I was financially stable and owned my own home. I had a great life, so why did it all seem so empty? Having worked so hard for so long, what I was doing it all for?
My cousin is a longterm fostercarer. She is just awesome. You know, one of those people you aspire to be. I’d always known about fostercare, but never really thought seriously about it. I mean, can a 36 year old single woman be a fostercarer?
So after a good deal of self analysis and research and many conversations with my cousin, I called DOCS. I could have gone with an agency but found that DOCS were really responsive and easy to deal with.
So here I am about to undertake my fostercarer training and writing 'my story'. It’s an odd experience to revisit your life in five year increments from birth to your current age. A time to reflect on all the things that make you who you are today.
It’s been invaluable to be able to talk to my cousin about her experiences and the challenges and joys. Her foster child is a delight and it’s been a privilege to watch the development from a little person at risk into a robust, funny, energetic child who is self confident and nurtured and has a wonderful full life.
My cousin’s life is that much richer for the experience and it is this, more than anything else, that inspired me to start my journey.
I still have questions and doubts and wonder how I’m going to do it all. But I am secure in the knowledge that I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends who support me in this adventure and will be there when I need advice or help or just need to talk.
It’s a huge decision, to turn your life upside down and share it with someone new. To forego much of your personal freedom and defer to the needs and wants of a child who will have been through more than any child should.
But then I am incredibly fortunate and have the chance to make a real difference. And what could be more meaningful than that?
Posted by Dorothy